Frustration Squared

Just a vent. I'm feeling so frustrated these days. I'm going to the vet again tomorrow because yet again, Marley has stopped going to the bathroom. My poor kitty. I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope here. I'm starting to have all these normal but horrible thoughts. Is this to be a terminal condition? At what point is she incurable and in need of being put down? I have 2 cats and Mark has one. My 2 cats are my children. I do love Domino, but he's not my cat and therefore my bond to him is different. Marley is my baby. Otis, on the other hand, though a wonderful cat, and though I will be upset and heartbroken when her time has come, does not have that same place in my heart that Marley does. I'm not sure why. Our personalities just seem to mesh in a weird way.

I've emailed a vet for a second opinion. But everything I've read leads me to believe we're doing all the right things. I am horrified at what I read. That this will probably be a lifelong issue. That this could go on and on forever. That until we find the right meds, the right dosages, the right high fiber foods, she could be really backed up. That many cats over the age of 7 or 8 will have this problem at least once in their lives. That if it isn't cleared up quickly enough, she may develop megacolon, a condition wherein her colon basically distends so much that it stops working altogether, and is like dead weight in her belly and will need to be removed. I've read nothing that leads me to believe this is a terminal condition, but at what point with a pet do you say enough is enough?

I have mini-goals set up. By next summer I was to be 100% debt free, aside from student loans and a forever car payment (2 debts which are not ridiculous, not irresponsible, etc.) Most of the medical debt will be gone by then, all of the credit card will be gone by then. So long as I keep on the same path. Which means, no extra money for outrageous vet bills.
So my goals to pay this off:
1. Sell some yarn, that will give me maybe a $50 profit maximum. Check. Everything is on ebay now.
2. Sell the iPod. Check. And thank you again!
3. Sell my 35 mm camera. Check. Again, another huge thank you.
4. Mid-September I'm doing a 1 day craft fair. $30 table rental. I will probably be the only one who crochets there. It's in my small hometown. I have hats and scarves galore, but the season is off for that. So, I'm trying to work on some purses, bags, pouches, dish cloths, headbands, fridgies, etc. Trying to come up with lots of little $3-$5 things. I'm even going to make some baby booties.
5. Sell craft books on Amazon. Check. $50 profit expected.
6. Etsy. But not just yet. I have to make enough stuff for the craft fair.

I don't know what else to do. I'm still hemming and hawing about a second job. I am so miserable when I'm stressed. I don't mind being tired and cranky, but when my stress level gets out of control, I get strep, bronchitis, the flu, horrible stomach viruses. Basically every germ within a 1 mile radius infects me. So I worry about that. But soon enough, I won't know what to do.

With the iPod and the camera I could have paid off almost half of the bill. Only problem is, this is a revolving bill. One that is neverending. At least for now.

I don't want to say goodbye to my cat. It would kill me. But so will this. I've worked hard to get great credit and I'm watching it fly down the tubes. It's frustrating.

Vent over. Sorry. I'm feeling really sorry for myself lately.

4 comments:

Linda said...
Thursday, 26 July, 2007

I'm so sorry, April. I can understand what you're going through. I hope your kitty can overcome this condition soon and save you from making such a hard decision.

Bron said...
Thursday, 26 July, 2007

I'm really sorry things are still looking bad for your cat. :( I know how hard it is when a pet is ill. I'll cross my fingers you can find the right meds/food and that she stabilizes quickly.

Good for you for making $$ goals too. That really helps when you can see things written out. :)

Deneen said...
Thursday, 26 July, 2007

Vent away. I understand your frustration and hope it all works out well with your cat.

Amy said...
Friday, 27 July, 2007

Bring your mittens and hats to the Sept. craft fair -- really, it's a great time for that kind of thing. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to have some out as well as the bags and purses and all, right? Cold weather is not so far off, and school has started (in Sept) so people are thinking fall/winter. I'd bet you'll sell some mittens and hats (unless it's one of those freak 90 degree days in Sept)!

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