Singles Awareness Day

***Warning: Slight rant coming up. I don't mean to take away from those who enjoy and celebrate Valentine's Day. I think it's great that people do. So please don't take it the wrong way and think I'm saying anything negative about the people who love the idea of today.***

For most of my adult life I have wanted to start a movement to ban Valentine's Day, or at least change its title to be a more honest reflection of what the day really is. While I've never been single on Valentine's Day (not in my adult life anyhow), over the years I've had many friends who were. Most of these friends were very strong, independent individuals who didn't shriek about being single, were not desperate to find a significant other, and certainly did not spend their time lamenting their singlehood. That is, until Valentine's Day. Have you ever noticed that single people feel so much more single on Valentine's Day? My strongest, most independent friends did, and these are tough cookies, folks, not people who would whine about being alone. I think it's kind of a travesty that this day makes people the world over feel terrible about themselves.

For most of my adult life I have not been single at all really. I've always had a significant other on Valentine's Day. And even so, I still felt terribly alone and lamentful every year on February 14th. I do not think I'm the only attached woman to feel that way either. I would see the commercials, I would hear people talk about it, and I would think, "Why isn't he doing that for me?" Or, "I wish he was more romantic." How many of you have ever thought that? Your friend gets gorgeous flowers or jewelry or what have you, and you don't...isn't there usually a bit of jealousy that you don't want to admit to?

As women, do we just have too many expectations? Or do we rely too heavily upon the television to tell us how to act, think, feel? Are our social cues learned from a marketing firm?

I am proud to say that on this day I am feeling fantastic. Fabulous even. Mark and I are not exchanging gifts. We discussed it last night and (supposedly) he had planned to pick something up for me. I expressed a non-interest. And I actually meant it this time. I think the difference is that I'm finally in a relationship where I don't need gifts to believe he wants to be with me. I don't need the reaffirmation. I know he loves me. And I'm not in need of a holiday to remind me or fill me with happiness. It's a pretty kickass feeling. Honestly, I'd be bothered if he didn't somehow acknowledge it. But I hope he acknowledges it by having the litterboxes scooped already when I get home from work at 9pm, or the dishes done, so I can sit down after an 11 hour work day and actually relax. To me, that sort of gift is priceless.

For those who do enjoy the day and the romance of it, more power to you. Have fun. Be merry. It's magical to feel giddy and lovey, no matter what. For those who are single and feel a bit burnt by Hallmark, look in the mirror and remind yourself that you're not just single, you're single and fabulous. And for people like me who feel like this day is not important in the whole scheme of your relationship, isn't it kind of a nice feeling? A freeing feeling?

Have fun today no matter what your situation is. Hopefully it's magical for you!

2 comments:

Lizze said...
Friday, 15 February, 2008

April,

I've got your V-Day cure. Kids. They suck the romance out of a relationship/marriage faster than anything else. lol Yesterday our big V-Day was spent eating McD's in the car before our appointment with one of G's specialists! lol And honestly, that was enough for me. So just wait, you'll get the V-Day you desire without having to discuss it first in a few years. ;)

Love ya hon!

Zuleika said...
Friday, 15 February, 2008

Not only is it a freeing feeling to not worry about v. day, but it's friggin cheaper as well! lol
V day is just something used to get money out of as many couples as humanly possible.

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