..a.d...n.a.u.s.e.u.m..

I Have A New Blog

2009-07-08T10:17:00.002-04:00

It's time for a change.

This blog shall be no more.

I'm moving here.

Come on over.

i love this baby

2009-06-28T12:51:00.001-04:00

We're Home!

2009-06-18T17:26:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the delay. Things are great. So, so tired though. I'm not napping and only sleeping 3 to 5 hours per night. I know, sleep when the baby sleeps. Easier said than done. She's cluster feeding right now and nursing on the hour every hour during the day and then every 2-3 overnight. I can't do much but nurse. The good news? This shall pass. We're doing very well and are all very happy. Her Daddy is in love.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/30996633@N00/sets/72157619514886603/

More later.

Induction

2009-06-09T16:24:00.001-04:00

Wednesday at 9:30 am we're being admitted to have a baby. I'm nervous and excited. Wish us luck!

Stick a Fork in Me!

2009-06-06T17:24:00.002-04:00

Yep, still pregnant. I'm only 4 days late at this point. But starting to feel quite frustrated and overly pregnant. I think in the last week my body has begun to deteriorate. It's frustrating.

I'm 3cm and 80% (unless I've progressed more) for almost a week now. The doctor swept my membranes on Wednesday and told me she'd see me Thursday for delivery. Um, nope.

I'm tired and irritable.

It looks like I'll be induced mid next week. I really want to avoid induction. I don't want to labor hooked up to an IV and tied down to a bed. Just not what I envisioned. But it's not looking promising. We'll see. I think they'll do another sweep on Monday to see if that works.

Send some serious labor vibes my way. There's nothing here but false labor. Lots and lots of false labor for the last week. At this point I probably won't even recognize actual labor when it begins because I am one walking contraction at this point.

Quick Update

2009-05-26T17:45:00.002-04:00

I've had a few emails from people wondering if I'm still pregnant. The answer is yes, I'm still pregnant. :) I've still got a week to go until my due date. I know that for a first time Mom I'm likely to go over, but I've had so much false labor, and so many doctors in my practice telling me "any day now" that I just assumed I'd have had her already. Even my Mom was pretty convinced she'd make her appearance before the end of this past weekend.

I'm feeling good still. I'm just done in general. Not because I feel bad mind you, but because of all the false labor I've had. It's like someone is holding this prize in front of you over and over again and then pulling it away and saying "Just kidding!" I think if it wasn't for my body teasing me as much as it has been, I'd be a little happier about still being pregnant.

She'll come when she's ready, I know.

My induction date, unless the hospital is booked that day, would be June 10th if I don't go into labor before then. Hopefully it doesn't come to that, I'd rather labor naturally at home for a while instead of going from 0 to 60 in the hospital hooked up to an IV and confined to a bed.

Mostly we're just antsy and excited to meet this little baby!

OH and good news. I finally came to my senses and gave up on Fairpoint. I'm switching my phone and internet to Comcast. We STILL have no DSL at home so I'm going with cable. I don't want to pay the ridiculous install fees (our apartment isn't wired properly and we need to pay for it ourselves) but I'm really in need of some internet. So our install date is 6/12. Since they have to come into our home I need us to be there. So, it looks like pretty soon I can actually read other blogs again and keep up with my friends. Wouldn't that be nice! It's been soooo long. I just don't have the time to do it from work.

Okay, speaking of work, I have things to do. I'll update soon, and as I said last time, hopefully with baby pictures!

Full Term

2009-05-14T14:58:00.002-04:00

I've technically got 20 days until my due date but I'm officially full term nonetheless. So, little one, please feel free to come out at any time, ok?

We're doing well. I'm 2 cm and very soft, and her head is very low, so hopefully progress continues to be made and I don't end up stalling here for a long while. My big complaint right now is the pressure and cramping and irregular contractions. She's very low in my pelvis and I'm quite far along so these are all normal things to be expected at this stage. I don't sleep worth a damn, I'm up usually every 40 to 50 minutes like clockwork overnight to use the bathroom. I feel very tired as a result. I think it will serve me well though as I'll be very used to her waking me up every 2 hours around the clock. Actually, part of me thinks that if she allows me to sleep 2 hours straight I'll feel wonderfully rested. I don't think I have slept more than 90 minutes in one stretch in several weeks.

It's funny, yesterday I heard a newly pregnant woman talking about her fears of labor and delivery. It reminded me that I used to be so pathologically terrified of labor that I wished for a c-section. But as I near the end, I don't fear it at all. I pray for it. I welcome it. I am looking forward to it. I say, bring it on! On so many levels it will bring relief. Of course there are nerves and jitters, but at this point in the game I just can't wait for the whole thing to just get itself over with, you know?

So, just the normal end of the road stuff going on here. Hopefully my next post will be soon and will include baby pictures. One can hope, right? Of course, you know full well I'm jinxing myself and will end up whining to you 2 weeks past my due date.

44 inches...

2009-05-05T18:43:00.002-04:00

and 36 weeks

Holy Cow!

2009-05-01T14:39:00.002-04:00

I'm a month away from my due date!

Things here are going well. Kidney stones are a drag but they could be worse.

Still no internet at home. At this point I wonder if we'll ever get it fixed.

Still working part time. Thankful to have a job, don't know if/how long it will last, but it's still here.

Mostly, I'm just shocked that I'm a month away from my due date. I'll see if I can get a picture soon and upload it from work. I'm as big as a house!

Sorry I have neglected other blogs. No internet at home, and at work I've gone from 50 down to 30 hours and I'm just swamped here all the time. I hope to check in soon.

WTF

2009-04-09T16:59:00.002-04:00

I rang in my 30th birthday (until about 4 am) in the labor and delivery ward of the hospital thinking I was in labor. I had terrible back pain and contractions every 90 seconds apart. I was really terrified of having her 8 weeks premature but I could not imagine what on earth was causing the terrible pain I was feeling other than labor. Well, long story short and several days later it turns out I've got kidney stones.

I haven't gone to work all week. I haven't done anything except go to the doctor and feel sorry for myself. I have an u/s tomorrow to see how things are going, how many there are, etc. Nothing has passed yet.

The good news is that they did an fFn test and it's not likely I'll go into preterm labor in the next 7 to 14 days. The fierce contractions I was having were irritbility contractions from the pain and stress on my system. The baby is in really good condition, strong HB, doing well. So on that front I couldn't be happier.

But I feel like shit and am so whiny and woah-is-me that I'm sure I'm miserable to be around.

What the hell is in the water up here that both Mark and I have now had stones?

Well

2009-03-17T11:49:00.002-04:00

It looks like I will be out of a job before the baby is born. It's 99% certain at this point. This economy is killing our buisness.

For now I'm hopefully, gainfully employed until the end of April, but only on a part time basis. I'm not sure if there will be a severance package or anything to carry me through for a while. I'm guessing no? But I could be wrong.

To say I'm freaking out is an understatement.

I have terribly neglected the Etsy shop since my wedding 6 months ago. I've decided to go off on my own, so MABS will be dissolved very shortly. I'm going to try to devote some good time and energy to the new shop in the hopes that it helps pay a few bills. Look for a grand opening around April 15th. I'll keep you posted.

Otherwise things are good. 11 weeks to go as of today. I can't believe how close it is. The gallbladder thing is terribly painful and I think next week when I have my next appointment (I start twice monthly next week) we'll find that I have either not gained anything, or maybe lost a pound in the last month. I'm up 35 pounds from the beginning of the pregnancy though so I don't think they'll be concerned yet as long as the baby is growing. And let me tell you, she is. Her strength and size is becoming more evident with how much she beats on me! She's a very active little one, that's for sure. But aside from the gallbladder thing, I've been feeling pretty good actually. A little tired and more slow than I was even just a month ago, but I guess at almost 7 months pregnant that's just normal stuff.

More soon. Hopefully Fairpoint will get their shit together and install our DSL at home one of these days?!

Hallelujah Meets Woah-is-Me

2009-03-09T14:01:00.002-04:00

Remember those nasty stomach issues I had for an entire year before getting pregnant? They seemed to disappear when I was around 2 months pregnant, thankfully. I've been eating a normal diet since then with no pain. They could never diagnose it for sure. Every doc would say "Sounds like gallbladder," but then the tests would come back negative. I was very discouraged for a very long while.

Around mid-February I started having pain under my right rib cage. I thought I was just a wus and a huge baby and couldn't hack being pregnant. One more complaint I have about pregnancy. I assumed it was normal organ squishing that happens and blamed my short torso for the discomfort, and felt silly for being so delicate.

Well, I mentioned it a week ago at my last prenantal appt. and they ordered an upper abdominal ultrasound at the hospital just to check to make sure my liver was ok. They just called with my results.

And holy friggen crap, I have gallbladder polyps!!!

I guess they can be hard to detect, and I guess the people who have symtoms from their polyps tend to have the same symptoms as people with gallstones and gallbladder disease, just with no stones or evidence of disease. Could this explain my classic gallbladder symptoms pre-pregnancy, and the constant negative test results?

So off I go to the GI again. I am hoping she just throws her hands up in the air and finally says yes, let's take that gallbladder out because obviously it's a source of pain and discomfort for me.

The woah-is-me part? I obviously won't be having surgery anytime soon. I'm certain they wouldn't do it during pregnancy simply for pain, my liver enzymes would have to be affected, or I'd have to be losing weight, or something more drastic than that.

At least I just got myself an accidental diagnosis.

Now, if only it didn't feel like some stabbed me in the ribcage with a hot knife. :-/

No Internet, So No Pictures...

2009-03-09T09:54:00.002-04:00

I'd love to post some pictures but I can't, on account of having no stinking internet at home. Can I just say I really hate Fairpoint??

After absolutely no substantial crocheting since about October, I finally finished a few projects this weekend. I made a BICO sweater for Zoey (I would make 200 of these if I had the time, they're so adorable and quick) and a matching newsboy hat out of Cascade Peruvian Highland Wool bulky. The main color was an eggplant purple, and I accented it with green stripes. Totally adorable. I also finally wove in the ends of a purple and slate gray beanie I made for her a while back. And I started on this cute little bunny. I'm using cotton though (plain old SnC), not Velvet Spun because I think it's something she'll end up gnawing on. I'm using the neopolitan looking colorway, though I forget it's actual name. I'm also not following the pattern exactly because I didn't like how it was working up in cotton, so I'm modifying it slightly. I'll follow the pattern for the paws and head though, when I get there, and try to keep the body the same size.

I have quite a few hats I want to make her, as this mama is obsessed with hats. I told Mark she'll be the coolest baby on the block if I have the time to make her all the cute hats I plan to make. I also want to make her a handful of stuffed animals. My grandmother made me a few when I was little--I have a crocheted smurfette that I loved--and I want to make some for Zoey too.

If I ever get internet again I'll post pictures. *rolleyes*

Quick Update

2009-03-03T12:55:00.002-05:00

We moved to a larger apt. this weekend and don't have internet or phone for the next few weeks (very long story). I won't be around as much as usual (which isn't much on a good day). Our goal of buying our first house this summer got pushed back one year until we see how having a baby will affect us financially.

My due date is 3 months from today, and it's the start of the third trimester. Time is really flying, I can't believe how fast it's gone.

I'm starting to notice that some symptoms are relieved, whereas new ones are popping up. In the last week I noticed I don't get up every 45 to 60 minutes to pee all night long anymore. I've been carrying pretty low, and it seems as though the baby has moved up just a smidge and is no longer laying on my bladder. My sciatic nerve pain from it being pinched is a teeny bit better, too, which is awesome. But with that upward movement I've noticed some minor heartburn, but nothing terrible just yet. I'm also noticing rib pain. And I can take even less of a deep breath as my lungs are getting squashed. It's all so bizarre! Nothing is too terrible yet, and knock on wood maybe it won't be, but for a firs time mom it's certainly new and strange and uncomfortable.

Mark is going through another bout of nasty kidney stones and they're not passing. Just rattling around in there causing him pain. I hope they pass soon. He has another urology appt. this week to check on them again and see if they're still high in the kidneys. Hopefully they've made some progress. He's very uncomfortable.

I think that's about all. I will update more when I can, and post pics of the new place, which is awesome. The extra space is just what we need with a baby on the way.

Woops

2009-02-20T10:29:00.002-05:00

I guess she does know I have a blog.

This is my favorite t-shirt that reads "Good Things Come in Small Packages."

I don't know how old I was here, but I'll take a guess and say somewhere around 21-ish. Maybe 20, maybe 22. Can't believe I'll be 30 in just two months. And I can't believe there was a time when I didn't wear my glasses 24/7.

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

2009-02-18T20:22:00.002-05:00

Aches and pains aside, I love my belly. I can't get enough of this thing. I think I stop and stare at myself several hundred times per day. Yes, it's awkward and I have to roll myself in order to sit up or get out of bed. It aches quite a bit as it's growing and it's not the most comfortable thing in the world. It's been squishing every organ inside of me.

But...

but...

sometimes when Zoey kicks me my whole belly shakes and wiggles and I can't help but laugh out loud. Each time I roll myself over to get in and out of bed she pokes me beside either of my two hips. That's my baby in there!

Look at my belly button in that first picture. Look a little strange? Turns out my birth mark has been hiding inside my belly button all this time and I never knew it, until it started to turn inside out.

Excuse Me While I Seem Very Un-Motherly

2009-02-18T09:52:00.003-05:00

I want nothing more than to be one of those women who just loves being pregnant. I have always wanted that. But given my, well, "delicate" nature I've always assumed I'd be sick as a dog the whole time and wishing I were dead. Imagine my surprise when that wasn't the case at all!

I never really had morning sickness. Just felt disgusting from the iron in the pre-natals until I got used to it, which took about 3 weeks. Of course that time period fell over the wedding so I was ill at my own wedding. Ah, pregnancy. My biggest first trimester complaint was fatigue. From about 7 to 12 weeks I was very tired, wanting to sleep all the time, and having a hard time keeping up with working 45 to 50 hours per week. But otherwise I felt like I was doing well.

Then the second trimester and the "honeymoon period" as they call it....

???

Um, excuse me, but what honeymoon? I mean, this is the time when women feel the best, so why don't I feel good?

I suddenly got this terrible body acne (it's finally starting to go away).

My uterus decided it wanted to hang out right on top of my sciatic nerve, so now I'm in excrutiating hip pain all the time. I'm too young to have nasty sciatica!

My tail bone started to hurt terribly for no good reason. I find myself gasping several times a day and muttering "Ow, my ass" because really, my ass hurts! Who ever heard of having pain from sitting too much?

The peeing all the time has started. And when I say all the time, I mean every 45 to 60 minutes like clockwork I have to pee. I haven't slept through the night since October (good practice for a baby I guess).

Constipation? Yep, I have that. Sorry for the TMI but I'd give anything to just poop again without a struggle.

Oh and how about my belly? My beloved, wonderful, adorable baby belly that I'm so in love with. My torso is so short that when I sit down, despite carrying so low, I cannot breathe because my uterus is smashing into my diaphragm.

And I have an unusual anterior placenta (the egg attached itself on the wrong side of my uterus at conception) so the baby is hidden beneath my placenta....which means when she kicks I can barely feel her. She kicks the placenta, not me. Usually the placenta is beneath the baby, not the other way around. I barely feel her kick, which is heart breaking.

I have an "irritible uterus" they tell me, where I feel every single stretch and pull. I have had cramps for 25 weeks now. I am always worried about this baby, thinking something is wrong, because I hurt a lot and have cramps. And now that I'm far enough along I'm having Braxton Hicks all the time with these cramps....it's nerve wracking.

I developed hypoglycemia and shake and nearly pass out if I don't eat something all the time. I have a gut feeling I will fail the glucose test next Thursday and end up with Gestational Diabetes.

Oh and one last thing. You're supposed to gain 25 pounds in pregnancy from start to finish. I've now gained well over 30, and I'm only 25 weeks along. I have three and a half months left to go and I've already gained way more than I should have.

So I'm a little discouraged that I'm not loving every aspect of pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I would do this 1000 times if I had to, just to have this baby. I love my baby and I can't wait to meet her. But seriously, if every woman were like me I think the human race would die out! I am apparently a lot more delicate than I thought I was. I feel like a failure as a woman sometimes. I try to put it in perspective and make myself feel better. I still work 48 hours per week. I do everything I did before I was pregnant, except carry heavy laundry and heavy groceries. I don't wus out and play the pregnancy card and refuse to do things. I don't baby myself or have my husband baby me. I feel like I trudge on and do a good job at keeping up with my former pace (I'm just a little slower these days). But I'm not comfortable. And I know it's going to get much, much worse.

I just wish I loved being pregnant. While I love the idea of it, I don't really love how I feel. It makes me feel so incredibly guilty.

Here I am at 23 weeks. They tell me I'm big?

Thanks for listening to my first and only long pregnancy whine.

Good Things Come in Small Packages

2009-02-18T09:35:00.002-05:00

When I was 15 my Mom and I were shopping at "Building 19." If you're from New England you know what this store is---it's your classic junk store. We would go there from time to time and check out the latest junk that they had to offer. Well this one trip I found this awesome t-shirt for 50 cents that said "Good Things Come in Small Packages." It was a tight fitting t, and it was my sort of political statement about my breast size. ;) I wore that thing out. I still have it, and it's so worn that it's practically see-through. I have to wear a tank top beneath it or else it's very obscene.

I recently joined Facebook when one friend said that another had posted some old pictures of us from high school, that I just had to see. So I joined so I could see this funny pictures. The friend who posted the pictures is someone I have known for so many years, since maybe the 10th grade or so. Our lives have always been very close physically, in that we live so close to one another. Emotionally though, that's another story. I don't know why, but our friendship has always been very volatile. Maybe it's because we're so alike in so many ways, or because we're so drastically different in so many ways. Maybe it's because we both have a tendency to be the center of attention and it causes us to clash, or at least we did when we were younger (I think we're both so much more laid back now). Or maybe, and this is my favorite theory, she and I are not good communicators while simultaenously being lazy. Maybe we both are too quick to think something about the other, and maybe we are both not the best at "clearing the air" when there's something that needs to be cleared, leading to misunderstandings. And maybe, we're both "lazy" and have always let our friendship slide, rather than trying to work for it.

Whatever the reason, she and I don't talk much anymore. In fact, our last major discussion was a huge falling out. One of many falling outs in our myriad history. I assumed last we spoke that it was literally the last we would speak.

So fast forward to last night. I was checking Facebook, which I now find to be the coolest thing ever, but that's beside the point. I noticed her status had changed and it said she had a bun in the oven. All I could do was cry. I was at work and probably looked like such an ass, but I started bawling out of happiness. I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am for her. This has been a long road for her and I know that she's got to be on cloud 9 right now. When I told people of my own pregnancy when I was around 13 weeks, I was terrified to tell her. Not because I didn't think she'd be happy for me. She's not a bitch afterall. But because I knew she was struggling with fertility and I knew if I was in her shoes it would sting a lot if a friend got pregnant when I was trying so hard to. Especially considering Mark and I got pregnant after one try, which wasn't even really a "try" if you want to be technical.

So anyway, all I can think of today is that damn t-shirt. Good things really do come in small packages. As in, baby sized packages. Or in her case, a poppy-seed sized package, which is about how big her little bean is right now.

So even if we don't ever rekindle our friendship (which since the day I met her I think I have always wanted because it's always been back and forth for some stupid reason), I am hoping and praying that her pregnancy progresses well and she has herself a very healthy baby approximately 7 1/2 to 8 months from now. If you could all just think good thoughts for her and send prayers and good vibes her way, that would mean the world to me. She'll never read this blog because I don't think she even knows I have one, but I hope somehow those good vibes find her and bring a smile to her face. She's so deserving of that right now.

Where Are My Feet?

2009-01-23T11:53:00.003-05:00

I can't find them anymore! I have to lean way forward to catch a glimpse of them. Which is probably a good thing, because they're in bad shape right now because I can no longer care for my toenails well. I can still cut them, but I can't get close enough to them to see if I'm cutting them in a nice straight line. Lord only knows what they look like close up! I'm 21 1/2 weeks along now. 18 1/2 to go, if she cooperates and crosses the finish line at 40 weeks. I hate to say it, but I can't wait. I know, I know, just wait another month or two or three and I'll surely be very uncomfortable. I'll look back to this time and wonder what in the world I was complaining about. Don't get me wrong---I do feel great. But I feel weird and slightly uncomfortable as well. Round enough where I can no longer bend at the waist. Fat enough where Mark now instictively gives me a helpful shove from behind when I'm trying to roll myself out of bed. Strangely shaped enough where getting onto the floor seems like the most ridiculous idea ever, unless of course someone is there to help me back up to a standing position. I know this is all just the beginning. I know that many women before me have had babies and been pregnant, and this is natural and normal and my body will be just fine. But it's hard to wrap my mind around it all. How in the hell will my skin stretch that much? It's as tight as can be, no matter how lubed I keep it. How will I maneuver myself when I already feel like I'm getting in my own way? Will I one day lay down and not be able to get back up? If a nearly one pound baby laying on my bladder causes me to nearly pee myself, what will a 6 or 7 or 8 pound baby do to me? It completely astounds me. I know I'll do just fine (albeit perhaps less than graceful). But the whole thought of it just seems out of the realm of possibility! Women really survive pregnancy, huh?? ;)

We've named her Zoey Isabella, by the way. I think she will be born wearing tap shoes, boxing gloves or both. Her movements are constant. Remind me at 8 months to take it easy on the sugar, or I will never have any rest.

Not much crocheting around here unfortunately. I have been working on Zoey's first hat now for almost 3 weeks and it's finally near completion. My upper back is in a world of hurt, and it seems the only time it feels decent is when I give up crocheting for a while. And when I say while, I suspect I may need to give it up for a very long while. The idea of it doesn't sit well with me. But I'm getting really sick of back pain, so it's looking like crochet will be on the backburner for even longer.

2009 Here I Come

2009-01-08T12:14:00.002-05:00

I've been doing a lot of reflecting on years past lately.

2006 was a very difficult year for me, emotionally, until I moved in with Mark in October 06.

Followed by a slightly better 2007 emotionally speaking, but Mark was hit with $30,000 in medical debts. We were a team by then, so it not only affected his finances, but it greatly affected mine. It was very rough for a while there, living hand to mouth all the time and running up large credit card bills so we could eat. Marley's vet bills were astronomical that year as well.

2008 improved financially to a degree, but we still spent thousands on our silly cat in the first half of the year. It tapered off during the second half, though, and she seems to be doing well now (the vets trained us on how to adminster certain costly treatments at home to save money...and I'm talking about saving thousands of dollars here!).

There were some fantastic things that happened in 2008. In late 07 on Christmas Eve, Mark proposed to me. In October of 2008 we found out we were having a baby, and then got married about 10 days later. The year ended fantastically.

There was a lot of heartache in 07 and 08, dealing with family illness and uncertainty. The second half of 2008 brought wonderful news though, and I'm optimistic that the news will stay positive for years to come.

2006 and 2007 saw the resurrection of my old friend, crochet. 2008 saw the vast expansion of my skills, as well as the opening of my online store with Sara: MABS Crochet. Between Etsy and craft fairs we had a profitable year.

The second half of 2008 also saw a drastic decline in my crochet. It started off because I was too busy during the wedding planning. Then I was too tired in the first trimester. And now crocheting triggers an older back injury and causes neck soreness. Grrrr.

What will 2009 bring?

First and foremost, 2009 brings financial stability to a degree. We get out of debt this year. How wonderful is that?! We will add a baby to our family, which will diminish our financial stability to a degree, but I think we have things under control to handle it well and with ease.

2009 brings the rebirth of MABS Crochet. Out with the old, and in with the new. My focus even before becoming pregnant has been on stylish children's and baby hats. See this item for an example. I'm not really sure what it is about hats, or what it is about making stylish hats for the little ones, but I'm very drawn to it. And now that I'm having a baby, well I've got that weird nesting desire to make baby items. Sara plans to switch her focus as well to gloves, fingerless gloves, and mittens, among other things. We hope to quickly reach our 100th Etsy sale, which we are not far from.

2009 also begs the question: Where is the Crochet??

Hopefully lots of crocheting is right around the corner. I've put the hook down for almost 6 months now, and I really miss my old friend. Stay tuned to see what the hook and I come up with in the coming year.

And It's A...

2009-01-07T17:00:00.003-05:00

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GIRL!!!

We had the ultrasound on Monday and they confirmed it. I was so sure it was a boy. Mark and I couldn't be happier. I'm 19 weeks now...just about halfway there.

Naturally Caron Yarn

2009-01-07T16:46:00.002-05:00

I've never been fond of Caron yarns. Not sure why, but if I needed some acrylic for a ghan or what have you, I'd reach for RH Soft long before anything by Caron.

Well, the other night Mark was in Best Buy for what seemed like ages, so I walked next door to AC Moore to look for some yarn. I wasn't really sure what I wanted and was walking the aisles looking more at colors than anything. Caron's new line of yarns (or maybe not so new, it's been ages since I've been to a craft store) caught my eye. So I picked up two skeins of the new Naturally Caron. One was Spa, which is a bamboo/acrylic blend, and the second was Country, which is a wool/acrylic blend.

I'm making a winter hat using both the Spa and County. My only complaint was the lack of color selection, as I would probably have prefered to choose either Spa or Country instead of both. But, the two colors I picked to go together look great and the hat is very soft. I'll post pics when I'm finished with it. The hat is extremely soft and squishy. Very nice.

16 Weeks

2008-12-18T14:16:00.002-05:00

The Tori Hat

2008-12-16T14:45:00.003-05:00

This hat is named for my niece, Tori, because it is her design 100%. She's a freshman in high school and recently asked me to make her a hat for Christmas. She had quite a few things that she was particular about (style, colors, striping, the pom-pom, hat thickness, etc). This is what I came up with:

The pom-pom is quite inventive, I think. She wanted it to hang so it flopped around when she moved her head.

Tha hat uses a variety of acrylic yarns (RH Soft and the purple is Bernat Satin I believe). The red, teal and oatmeal are Paton's wool. It's a great scrap project. I chose to make one color dominant because the striping in the earflaps would just be a pain. There are 10 colors altogether. The top starts off with 3 rounds of purple, and then every 4th stripe is purple. The earfaps are then all purple as well. I doubled the yarn together for thickness and used a 9 mm hook. I started off using 8 but it was too stiff, and I wanted it to be very soft and smooshy. I may just have to write up a pattern for this. I think it's adorable!

I still have gads of yarn left in these colors and am tempted to make a few more until I use up the yarn, and sell them on Etsy.

15 Weeks

2008-12-16T14:25:00.003-05:00

My husband cannot operate my camera to save his life, so I had to turn off the flash and take my picture in the mirror. I apologize for the terrible quality.

Technically I'm 16 weeks as of today, but I seem to be a week behind on uploading photos.

At 14w4d I felt the first flutters of movement. Very obvious what it was. Like a gas bubble traveling upward instead of down. Sort of rolled up my insides. Very strange. I felt it again at 15w1d, twice. Nothing since though. Which is normal. The baby is so small that depending on where it is in my uterus I may or may not feel its movements consistently for a few more weeks.

I'm also completely in maternity clothes. Most of my non-maternity shirts, even the ones I thought were on the long side, are practically belly shirts now. I'm wearing one stinking pair of jeans everyday (doing lots of laundry lately) until Friday when I pick up 2 more pairs of pants from the tailor. Try finding maternity pants in short sizes. Ha. Good luck there. I thought it was difficult to find normal pants in the right length for my short size...try finding fat pants that short! I ordered 2 more pairs and they should hopefully arrive before the weekend (knock on wood). I wasn't too keen on buying a new wardrobe but...what can you do? I can't go to work in my bathrobe now, can I? (Though that would be nice)

Second trimester is treating me fairly well. I'm not tired at all anymore. I have my moments but mostly I feel back to normal in the engery department. I'm not eating as much. My MIL says its because my organs are starting to get squished into my stomach. This seems highly plausible to me as all of a sudden I eat about 3 bites and feel full. That wasn't happening until I "popped" around 14 weeks. I feel shaky frequently from low glucose. My OB says this too is normal in the 2nd tri and to just make sure I eat a little something every 2 hours even if I'm not hungry. If I eat a cracker with some peanut butter that seems to do the trick. My only real complaint is sciatica. My butt, tailbone, lower back and the backside of my hips ache all the time. Sitting is the worst, I cannot seem to do it comfortably. I talked to my former physical therapist and he suggested purchasing one of those Yoga balls and sitting on those. He gave me some butt and pelvis exercises that should help. But mostly, he said it's probably here to stay until the baby is born. Walking aggravates it too, which is very annoying. I'm really hoping this eases up a bit. It's been my only complaint so far though so all things considered, that's really not bad at all.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Week 16
How Big is the Baby at 16 Weeks Pregnant? Your baby is even larger by pregnancy week 16, between 4.3 and a little over 4 ½ inches long, and probably weighs close to 3 ounces.

Your Baby's Growth and Development
Your baby is planning on doing some major growing in the next few weeks. By pregnancy 16 weeks she'll be able to hold her head slightly straighter, and her eyes are finally moving into their final position in the front of the head. The ears are doing the same, and now your baby is focusing her attention on complicated circulatory matters. Your baby's heart is pumping 25 quarts of blood every day, not bad for someone smaller than a grapefruit!

Your baby is also starting to grow hair and will continue to do so as you
continue your pregnancy week by week. You won't be able to tell what color hair your baby has until after birth, and even then your baby's hair may fall out and change colors completely at least once during the first few months of life! The same is true of our baby's eye color. Some baby's are born with blue eyes that gradually turn darker during the first couple of months of life!

By pregnancy week 16 the umbilical cord is now firmly attached to your baby's belly as well, providing numerous nutrients to your little one. At this point in time your baby's legs are starting to grow longer than the arms!

Your Growth and Development
You should no longer have a discernable waist by pregnancy 16 weeks. Don't fret; it will come back some day. Most women revel in their blossoming roundness. While you are not huge by any stretch of the imagination, you are starting to look more and more pregnant each and every day. By now you might consider shopping for some maternity clothes, though you may not be able to fill them out for a few more weeks. Some stores offer maternity clothes in varying sizes that can accommodate second vs. third trimester babies.

Your maternity size will generally correspond with the size you were before you got pregnant, provided you have not gained an unusual amount of weight.

Changes in You
Perhaps the most exciting part of pregnancy is feeling your baby move. You might be able to discern tiny movements by pregnancy week 16. Many women have described this feeling as akin to butterflies fluttering away in the stomach at 16 weeks pregnant though some will feel this sooner. At first you might dismiss this feeling as gas, but watch out, your baby is actually swimming up a storm!

Even at 16 weeks pregnant not all women will feel their baby's movement, so don't panic if you don't recognize your baby's movements during pregnancy at 16 weeks. It may take a few more weeks before you feel the first fluttering of your baby. If this is not your first baby, you are more likely to feel movement early on in the pregnancy.

The Unexpected

2008-12-09T12:19:00.003-05:00

I've had a lot of unexpected things happen to me in this last year.

I unexpectedly got sick with a mysterious stomach ailment last fall.

I unexpectedly got engaged last Christmas.

I unexpectedly decided to get married on 10 weeks notice instead of waiting until 2009.

I (very) unexpectedly found out I was pregnant a few days before the wedding.

Unexpectedly, Mark did not freak out.

I unexpectedly went from this little belly:

To this not so little belly:

in the span of 6 weeks!

Unexpectedly, we did not tell our families until the end of the first trimester. My parents found out just before week 13. We told his parents at 13.5 weeks. I never thought I'd be able to keep such a secret.

I unexpectedly have not had any morning sickness or bad pregnancy symptoms to date, other than a few minor complaints. The prenatals made me feel queasy for the first week or so until I started taking them with a snack. The fatigue kicked my butt for about 3-4 weeks in the first trimester but I still worked 40+ hours each week regardless. I have had a minor back ache since about 9-10 weeks, but it's tolerable. Otherwise I've felt pretty darn great. I'm always sick so I assumed that pregnancy would not agree with me.

I unexpectedly gained a net total of 14 pounds during the first 14.5 weeks of my pregnancy because:

Pregnancy unexpectedly cured my mysterious stomach ailments from last year! I can eat anything I want to eat for the first time in about 14 months. I am now, at 15 weeks pregnant, still weighing less than I did last year at this time. However, I'm at least back to a normal healthy weight. My doctors have advised me to gain 20-25 pounds above and beyond what my healthy weight was, so we figure I should gain 20-25 pounds above 110 or 115 pounds. Right now I'm at 116. My target labor weight should be between 130-140.

I unexpectedly felt the first "quickening" fetal movements at 14w4d pregnant and knew immediately what it was that I felt.

I rather unexpectedly adore full panel maternity pants and wish that they were socially acceptable to women who are not pregnant. I have never been so comfortable in my life.

But most shockingly, I am very, very unexpectedly not at all nervous about this pregnancy or about having a baby. The idea used to terrify me. Now it's just a peaceful feeling.

Here's what's going on this week:

Your Baby

Rapid growth of your baby continues at this point. The skin is very thin and you can see the blood vessels clearly underneath. The scalp hair pattern is developing while fine hair (called lanugo) covers the baby's body. Your baby is approximately 12-14 cm (3.7 to 4.1 inches) and weighs about 50 grams (1.75 to 2 ounces).

Your baby's taste buds already look like a mature adult's and doctors have learned that the amniotic fluid that surrounds it can smell strongly of curry, cumin, garlic, onion and other essences from a mother's diet. Your baby's bones continue to harden and retain calcium very rapidly. At this point in the pregnancy the placenta will begin to take on the job of hormone production to sustain the pregnancy, which was the job of your ovaries up to this point. Your baby's eyelids are now firmly shut, and will stay closed until the third trimester.

And finally, very unexpectedly, in 27 short days we'll know the gender of our baby. Oh, and I can finally start stockpiling really funky crocheted baby hats. I've been dying to make some for myself but keep refraining!

Check out this HUGE Contest

2008-12-05T09:50:00.002-05:00

My friend is doing a really cool Christmas Blog Promotion right now. Enter to win, but you need to check it every day for the next 12 days starting sometime today. Don't miss it!

www.wagscreations.blogspot.com

Susan writes,
"12 Days of Christmas Blog Giveaway...Starting tomorrow, I am going to host a 12 days of Christmas Blog Giveaway. Meaning, tomorrow is the first day, and then we will go out for 12 more days....the cool thing is, the person that wins the giveaway tomorrow, will one Day One's prize. The person that wins on Saturday wins Day One and Day Two's Prize...and so on. So, you really want to try to win the 12th Day and get ALL OF THE PRIZES. HOWEVER, Here is the catch. You must participate each day to be included in the 12th Day! So, no late birds coming in. BTW, the prizes get bigger and will remain a secret until they are unveiled on that day. So, mark the blog as a follower, tell your friends. Total prize value of the 12th day will be at least $120 of items. Oh, and one more thing...you CAN win more than one day. So be diligent."

Good luck!

Well...

2008-12-03T09:10:00.003-05:00

I guess it's time to let the cat out of the bag.
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Look what we made!

I'm 14 weeks now. Due June 3rd. Find out the sex in about 4 weeks.

Crazy, isn't it??

Now that the first trimester fatigue is history, I should be back to blogging and actually reading blogs again.

Long time no see....

2008-11-17T12:34:00.003-05:00

Hello! I'm sorry I have not been blogging but, work and life have gotten the better of me. I work insane hours lately. We've been doing lots of craft fairs. I've been making a lot of holiday items to sell on my second Etsy store. Very, very busy.

I promise a nice grand update around Thanksgiving. I'll have some time off then to relax and catch up on blogs, and update my own.

In the meantime, guess what? We were approached by Mama Speaks to review our products. We sent in two baby hats made with 100% cotton and we're anxiously awaiting their review. Wish us luck.

Dorks

2008-10-14T11:37:00.000-04:00

The rest of the pictures are here.

Five Days

2008-10-06T09:35:00.010-04:00

Mark and I will be married 5 days from now. I cannot believe how quickly time has flown by. I also cannot believe how naive I was about this week. I had always thought that I would have everything done and would enjoy this week relaxing and not stressing about the final details. I have never been more wrong in my life! It would be an enormous lie to say I'm near completion at this point. Stress is mounting to say the very least.

The whole DIY Wedding is fantastic. It allows you so much more control over the details, and gives every one of those details such a personal touch. It saves a tremendous amount of money. I can be elegant on my small budget simply by scouring the craft stores for sales, and making everything myself. The entire cake including the cupcake tier and all the decorations and ingredients, for instance, cost me about $100. That's a fantastic bargain for 70 guests. I will never complain about the creative freedom and financial freedom doing it myself has granted me. In the future though, I will allow myself more time. Since July when I started making the invitations I have probably spent about 20 hours per week working on things for the wedding. When you work 47 hours on average per week at your day job, have an online store and are going to craft fairs in the fall, it's a huge undertaking. Will I ever regret that? No, of course not. But it's a huge endeavor and in the future if I plan a huge DIY party I will simply give myself more time. This week will kick my ass into oblivion I think.

Enough whining. How about some pictures?

Mark and I opted not to get similar rings. We don't have similar tastes. His ring is a matte titanium, whereas mine is 14k white gold with delicate engravings on it (a circular scroll sort of design, which was near impossible to photograph).

Of all the rings I tried on, this one just suit me the best. Delicate but not ornate. Elegant yet durable.

I'm particularly pleased with the wedding favors. Each place setting will alternate red-orange around each table, so no two place settings beside each other are the same. The inside of the boxes are filled with chocolate truffles.

The colors in the bouquet did not capture well in photographs. But in person I think they look lovely. The stem is wrapped in a black satin ribbon. I decided to opt for silk flowers because I just did not want to be bothered with the expense or hassle of using real flowers. I'm pleased with my decision.

I have a lot more photos that I'll try to upload as the week progresses, when I need a break. I tried to photograph each item as it was completed, so that I could post some pictures beforehand. All in all, though tired, I'm very happy with how things are turning out. Just pray that the cupcakes work well. That's the biggest task this week. The rest of it are just small final details. Hundreds of small final details and errands.

Shoe Box

2008-10-03T08:09:00.003-04:00

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.

He almost burst with happiness.'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'

'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

A Prayer.......

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death,
because I don't know how to crochet.

Compliments of Sara.
Have a good day everyone!

Wedding Bolero

2008-10-01T08:28:00.006-04:00

I tried my shrug on with my wedding dress (see previous post). It was gorgeous. Love the Kauni, love the colors. Looked great with the dress. Except for one small detail. The back needed to be longer by about 3 inches. So I stopped at the LYS on my way home to see if I could find some more Kauni and of course, sold out. None left. I didn't have enough to finish it. So, I wandered around the store, shrug in hand, trying to find another yarn that exactly matched the darkest stripe in my Kauni shrug. I was able to find Big Baby, by Alpaca with a Twist. Pricey for 82 yards ($15) and I needed four skeins. More than I usually spend on yarn. Anyhow, I made a little bolero. I shortened up the sleeves from the previous design, elongated the back, and added a shell stitch border around the entire piece.

I'll try both on the day of the wedding with my dress and decide which one looks best.

10 days now.

Beth, our mannequin, is quite a bit thinner than I am. The bolero hugs my body whereas it doesn't hug hers.

Wedding Shawl Turned Shrug

2008-09-25T10:18:00.005-04:00

I've been so swamped at work and with the wedding (which is 16 days away now!) that I have not had time to post pictures of the things I've been working on, or talk about the plans as they've been unfolding. A lot has gotten done and there's still more to complete. A lot more. The easiest way to show them off is to just give you a link to my flickr set that has the wedding-in-progress photos. Sometime before the wedding I'll take photos of everything that's been handmade by me (with Mark and Sara's help in many instances) to show everything together and how it all ties in with one another. The cupcake tier is finally completed for instance (it needed the paint to be touched up when I previously photographed it). We still have chocolates to make and cupcakes to bake, and gift bags and baskets to put together. The favors are completed, as well, so I'll take nice pics of those. So much to do!

I wanted to show you the shrug that I finished last night though, as I am in love with it. I wish Beth (our mannequin) had arms so that the shrug arms didn't just hang there all willy-nilly, but alas it will have to do for now.

I wanted originally to make a very small wrap. Like this, only more dainty, and not quite as long. Weather permitting, the ceremony will be outdoors at 5:30 pm in mid October in southern NH. I'm guessing it will be about 50 degrees at most. Quite chilly. Though I do think my dress is pretty and I want to show it off, I haven't lost my mind enough to want to sacrifice my body's warmth for vanity! The whole bride thing is strange to me. Why be uncomfortable so you can look nice? Not this girl. So, I made myself a small wrap. But the size wasn't right. It was too wide to button like a capelet and still look nice (it looked like a small poncho no matter how I wore it), but not wide enough to drape around me like shawl or wrap. I just wasn't happy with it. So, I decided to turn it into a small, dainty shrug. Once I seamed up the sleeves I went ahead and made the back longer so it's more reminiscent of a jacket. Shracket, if you will.

It's not blocked yet and the red did not photograph true to life. But aside from a semi-shoddy picture, I couldn't be more happy with it.

The yarn is Kauni. Not sure of the colorway as it's in German (I believe). Insane yardage in one skein, I think close to 700? I ended up using about 2/3 of the skein max. The remainder is going to become a small clutch that I also started last night. The buttons I had intended to use for the wrap will be used to close the clutch. They're ivory and match my dress.

I didn't use a pattern (surprise). I didn't want it to be too decorative so as to detract from the dress, but I also didn't want it to be one solid block of crochet. So, I alternated rows of hdc and tr. The yarn is a #2 weight I think and I ended up using a 4.5 mm hook which is larger than called for. 1. I have had so much to make for the wedding that I wanted it to not take forever, and 2. I didn't want it to be too dense and firm.

Had I more time, I would have lined it before sewing it. It's itchy as hell. I'm going to wash it in my mother's front loader on delicate and I'm also going to try some wool Soak. I figure I'll just have to deal though. I don't have an issue with wool per say and I don't avoid it, but wool around the clavicle is just a bit on the irritating side. Hopefully it will soften up a bit with washing. Otherwise, I guess I will end up sacrificing comfort for vanity.

Looking at the photos now it really does need to be blocked. I'm really happy with how it looks on me though. It fits nicely. I just hope that it looks good paired with a wedding dress. Otherwise....oh well. Ce la vie, because I'm wearing it!

I'm trying the shrug with the dress this Saturday. The dress is at my parents house since my closet space is sadly lacking, and I need to go over there to try on the dress with the spaghetti straps my mother added to it. I'll have her take a photo of the whole get-up. I bought a full slip so it gives it a little bit more volume and body. Not that I wanted or needed it per say, but it did poof it out enough that the length came up about an inch, and that prevented me from having to have it hemmed.

All in all, things are coming along nicely. I'll have more pics as we get closer to the big day. There's still so much more to photograph and show you.

The Meaning of April

2008-09-08T09:45:00.004-04:00

I found this to be pretty accurate. Surprisingly so, in fact. The beginning part, about being a Type A personality....completely true. Towards the ending where it says I'm chill and relaxed....not so much.

What April Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.
Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.
Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Also, last week I "won" this award from Deneen.

I would love to nominate everyone's blog that I read for this award. I know that is kind of a cop out, but what can I say? There are so many blogs that I have been reading over the last year or so that have taught me so much, and provided me with so much laughter and joy. Deneen, Andy, Bron, Lizze, Susan, Zu, Darcie, Etc. etc. etc. How could I choose just a few? I love reading them all.

I'm So Busy Part 3

2008-09-03T10:09:00.009-04:00

And finally....the wedding. We're about 5 or 6 weeks out now. And with our small budget, we're doing everything ourselves. I'm baking the cake, which will actually be cupcakes. I'll do half chocolate, half vanilla. The icing on top of each will be one of three colors: red, yellow or orange. Deep fall colors. I'm going to make some chocolates using basic molds. They'll likely be fall leaves. Those will sit atop the frosting on the cupcakes.

I've finished my favors but no photo yet. Sorry. I have almost finished my shawl. I need to make my purse. The centerpieces will be done in a month or so, as a gift from a friend. The placecards are ready to be made, as soon as everyone RSVPs (50% of the guests still have not, even though the RSVP date has come and gone). The dress and suit are all set. We're buying our rings next weekend. Next week we get our license. Sheesh. There's a lot of crap to do in order to get married!

I do have some step by step pics of the cupcake tree. It started off as plain white cardboard discs. I painted them black. The following week we glued leaves around the edges and flowers on the risers. I still need to touch up a few spots with some paint, but otherwise it's done.

In the final photo you will see the card holder. I decided to use an antique looking bird cage. I thought it was a lot nicer and more stylish than anything else I had seen. And....$11. What a bargain. I'm going to hang it after the wedding with pillar candles in it, in our living room. Pretty stylish I think.

Oh crap. I need to make the bouquet too. Well, tack that onto the list. The flowers on the cupcake tree match the favors exactly. These flowers (gerbera daisies) match my bouquet. They also can be found on the gift bags I'm putting in each hotel room. Which reminds me....I need to decide what is going in those bags....

It doesn't seem like it's a ton of work per say, but there are just many, many details to consider. I'm pretty OCD, and I want this whole thing to be ridiculously stylish yet casual and fun. I think I'm doing a pretty good job so far.

I'll have more pics as we move closer to the date.

I'm So Busy Part 2

2008-09-03T09:47:00.008-04:00

The adventures in stash diving continue.

Last year, Sara and I participated in Derryfest. It's a little day long festival put on by our quaint hometown. We ended up selling some of our crocheted items. It's not a huge seller though. Not like a craft fair or anything where people go to actually make purhcases. Here, people just sort of hang out. And some do make purchases, but as a whole it's not a vendor fair. Well, we decided to do it again this year. And we decided we would do other craft fairs, since our Etsy store is so successful. (Yes, I'm insane with 2 Etsy stores and a 50 hour a week job, and craft fairs coming up. Oh, and that whole wedding thing!)

Well, my father built us some craft fair displays. We have table top displays that are multi-leveled. We have a 3 part folding "screen" made of pegboard that we can hang billions of items from. We have Beth, our bodyform. We have Beth's head, shown below. We have hat stands. Etc. etc. etc. We should look pretty damn professional this year. Can't wait to show photos of how it all comes together. Don't have any yet, but I will over the next few weeks.

We have spent months trying to both use up our acrylic stash, and create a huge winter inventory for the upcoming fairs. Derryfest is on the 20th, so we're getting close. Most people, we've learned, at craft fairs don't want to spend big bucks, so we've found the most success with cheaper yarns that equal cheaper end products. So, the less expensive we can go, the better. Etsy is another story. We don't have a hard time selling more expensive items online. Craft fairs are tough though for that sort of thing.

Somehow though, with all the craziness of the upcoming fairs, we have been inundated with custom orders for hats. Slouchy hats, newsboys, cloches. It's insane. I think we've had 5 in about 10 days, and we have 2 or 3 more custom hats people have inquired about on Etsy, that we're waiting to hear back from. It's crazy. Unfortunately I don't have all of them done yet, and I don't have photos of them all yet. But here's a quick glimpse of my most recent stash diving efforts.

Sara has a pretty large inventory of Earflap hats as well, but not all of them have been listed on Etsy yet.

I won't bother to horrify you with my crochet goals before our huge holiday fair mid-November. But right now, in the next 17 days before Derryfest my goals are as follows:

2-3 scarves

5 little boy hats (3-10 year old sizes)

5 little girl hats

5 mens hats

2-3 pairs of baby booties at least

Tons of face scrubbies

Will I get much sleep? Ummm....no. Not really. Will I somehow masochistically love it? Yep. Indeed I will.

I'm So Busy Part 1

2008-09-03T09:37:00.006-04:00

For the Love of Marley is completely up and running. I think I've added 75 or so new items for sale. I haven't had my first official sale yet, but when I think about MABS Crochet in the beginning, we didn't have many sales for the first month or two. I think people are hesitant to purchase from sellers without a lot of feedback on Etsy. So, I'm patiently waiting. In the meantime, here are a few of the items I'm selling:

Sets of gift tags. This is a set of 10 for $3.00. Great everyday gift tags. I have several types at the moment, and will be adding many, many more soon, including Holiday tags. The Holiday season is quickly approaching, afterall.

I have a handful of basic blank greeting cards with a variety of sentiments. More to be added soon.

These floral collages are so fun to make, and I think they make wonderful little gifts. I have several of them that I've made over the years throughout my home, and throughout my family's homes.

Finally, there are several wedding cards. These would be great, I think, as basic wedding greeting cards, or cards for bridal showers. They're blank inside. If you recall, these are actual leftovers from my own wedding invitations.

Do take a peek! There's a lot for everyone. And coming soon, I will have thank you cards and tags specifically for Etsy sellers, and for cheap, too. I tend to revisit the sellers who impress me with their packaging, and what better way to do that than by adding a personal touch like a small card or thank you tag?

Shout Out

2008-08-21T17:48:00.002-04:00

Well, I was going to post that Deneen's Girl About Town Felted Bag is today's Crochet Pattern of the Day, as a nice little shout out to her. You should check it out, and buy a copy of her pattern.

Well, to my delight, I also got some potholders in the mail today from Deneen to test out. Despite my skepticism that I won't burn my hands on single thickness potholders, I have to say these are looking mighty nice. Thanks Deneen!

Manchester, NH Hookers Guild

2008-08-18T09:00:00.004-04:00

We meet on the second Wednesday of every month at Starbucks on South Willow Street in Manchester. It's the Starbucks right in the Michael's Plaza. We're there from 7 to 9 once per month.

We do quarterly yarn swaps, too. Our next yarn swap will be 11/12/08. Bring 200+ yards of a natural fiber yarn stashed in a bag, and we'll swap with each other.

If you don't want to swap yarn, come anyway. It's a blast. Crochet your ass off!

Up and Running

2008-08-11T10:50:00.001-04:00

For the Love of Marley is now up and running. :) I don't have a lot of inventory yet, but it's a start.

Coming Soon...

2008-08-06T11:38:00.007-04:00

I've opened a new Etsy Store!

Unlike my first love, my first Etsy store that I started with my BFF Sara Abbott, this is a solo venture. Sara and I don't pay ourselves any of our MABS Crochet profits, we mostly use the money for things that we want/need for our business...i.e. nicer yarns, business cards, classes (eventually), a swift and winder (eventually), craft fair displays that my father is building for us, etc. So, while it's been self-sustaining and we're not losing money or using our own money, we're not profitable yet to pay ourselves any monies. So, as a second job it's not cutting it. That's why I've decided to open For the Love of Marley. The store is completely empty at the moment, but I plan to rectify that very shortly.

For the Love of Marley will be a place for me to sell the other crafty items that I make, and use all profits to help fund the monthly medication and vet bills for my chronically ill kitty. Bet you didn't know I had a life aside from crochet, did you? Well, I do. I was re-inspired while making my wedding invitations to get back into some other crafts that I'm very fond of. I am very fond of binding books and journals by hand (making the covers themselves is so very fun). I love making my own paper by hand, though I'm not sure our apartment has the space I need to do that. I also have an enormous stash of dried, pressed flowers that I love turning into greeting cards and collages. I love altered art, so collaging on any free surface is so much fun for me (and you can get a small glimpse of my altered bookcase in this photo). I love rubber stamping and making very simple greeting cards and gift tags. So, I figured since I'm really hot in the seat to make these things now that I've caught the crafty bug from making those wedding invites, what better what to go about it?

I have 6 or so sets of gift tags and 8 floral collages to list, but I won't get to it for another week or two. I'll let y'all know when the store is up and running, so you can give me some always appreciated feedback.

How About an Update?

2008-07-24T10:40:00.007-04:00

It's been quite a while since I've posted some photos or even really talked much about crochet, hasn't it? Or posted an update at all? Well, let's rectify that, shall we?

I haven't been doing very much crocheting lately, due to my back being sore. What I thought was just stress and tension that started in May is actually a more serious problem, unfortunately. I have muscle spasms and knots from the base of my skull to well below my rib cage on the left side of my back, which have started to pinch the nerves and make my left arm have numbness and tingling. Not very fun. My best guess is that it started when we got our tax rebate in May and we bought new living room furniture, and I spent half the month moving the couch and chair all over the very small living room trying to find an arrangement that wasn't too crowded. I remember being sore all the time thereafter, and I know that was around the time I started to have tension headaches. If physical therapy doesn't do the trick, I think they're going to send me for an MRI just to be sure there's no disc issues. Mostly I think it's muscle spasms and just really nasty knots and strains. I have some pain medication to help me get comfortable when I sleep, and I have a silly looking heating pad that actually velcros around my back, so I should be on the mend soon. PT starts Monday and I think once they beat on those muscles things will get quite a bit better. :)

So, this past weekend I was thrilled when I discovered that lounging on the chaise on the couch with a heating pad beneath my back is a great position to be in for crocheting. Towards the end my left arm was a bit sore, but mostly it worked out wonderfully. I had 2 skeins of Noro (oh beautiful Noro!) that I had planned to make a hat with for this coming winter. After making the hat (coming up next), I had enough left to make myself a scarflette to match. So, my winter set is all ready. I'm not wishing for snow yet, but I'll be excited to wear my new stuff when it does get cold. I haven't blocked these yet, so bear with the curled edges. The second photo is mostly just to show the color shading. Isn't it gorgeous?

A while back I saw this book at Barnes N Noble. To my surprise, it had 10 or 12 hats that I would actually enjoy making and wearing, and for a $10 or so book I couldn't pass it up. You can see all the sticky tabs marking the hats I want to make. I think there are a lot of great gifts in here, and quite a few I'll end up making for myself. It was a really great find, and I'm glad I bought it.

So, the hat I wanted to make was a "Helmet" hat. Very simple and I love it. I liked that it was worked into the rounds, unlike a lot of earflap patterns that have you attach them after the fact. I thought the striping in the Noro was perfect for this pattern, and I'm glad I did not substitute the yarn. I did my earflaps just slightly larger than the pattern called for, and I also went up a hook size, because I like my hats roomy. It actually fits perfectly, so I think the mystery is solved---I think I do crochet tightly.

Now for wedding favors:

I have started to remove some silk gerber daisies and leaves from their stems. The plan is to attach them with hot glue to small white favor boxes, and put some sort of candy inside the boxes. These are not put together, but I laid them out to show you basically how they'll look once I get around to doing them. I think they'll be lovely. I have red and orange flowers, and I'll probably alternate between the two, so the tables show one red, then one orange, etc. at each place setting.

Any ideas for gifts for our parents? I'm at a loss for this one. I would love to do something special (and sadly inexpensive) for them as a thank you for their support.

And lastly, Sara bought me some Kauni at a new LYS that opened up about 10 miles from us in our home town (Hooray!). It's gorgeous 100% wool. Perhaps German? I couldn't tell from the label, but there is no English on there, that's for sure. I haven't looked it up yet either. I apologize for the photo being so dark. On my home computer it looks fine but here at work I can't even make out the yarn. Maybe I'll need to rephotograph it. Anyhow, it's a lovely deep red and if you can see, I've started working on my shawl for the wedding. I'll make a matching handbag too. Small and felted. It matches the gerbera daisies wonderfully. I'm very much in love! It's fingering weight though which I have never worked with. It does NOT ease my need for instant gratification, and it will not be an overnight project. But, I'll work on it and hopefully finish the shawl in time for the wedding. Thank you Sara!

That's all for my long update. Hope you're all doing well, and I'll talk with you soon.

Autistic Children are Brats

2008-07-22T11:27:00.004-04:00

No, no that is not my opinion. Far from it, in fact.

But that is, indeed, the opinion of one of the top 3 radio men in the US, Michael Savage. He claims that the views he expressed were a way of waking up parents to help them see that far too many children are mis- or over-diagnosed with autism. And despite outrage, he is yet to offer any sort of apology for offending millions of Americans.

An MSNBC article about the whole ordeal is located here.

I understand, to a degree, what he is trying to get at. If what he's spinning after the fact is the truth, that is. Basically, to say that many children are misdiagnosed is probably true. To say that many children these days are being labeled as ill when really they're not, and they simply have behavioral problems is, I'm certain, true. To an extent, that is, and keep in mind that it happens not just with autism but with many other illnesses.

Case and point. My nephew was having some issues in the first grade. His teacher thought he could have ADD or ADHD. Instead of trying to see what the root of the problem was, she wanted to label him as ill, and push for medication and treatment. The reality was, he was talking too much in class. Not paying attention. Why? Well, he hadn't ever been in school before. Didn't quite understand the way things had to be. And he is 150% rambunctious boy. Run around until he's exhausted boy. With selective hearing. And really, the biggest problem was the school's unwillingness to punish a child. When we were in school and we were bad, we had to go in the hall, or had our desks pushed against the wall alone, or missed recess. Now, they are less likely to punish kids like that because no one wants to get sued. Jacob is not a kid with ADD. He's a kid who needed to get yelled at and told to behave. And once he did, what happened? Oh...he behaved! And no longer does he have "ADD." Now he's just a normal kid who doesn't want to sit still and would rather be on the playground. Isn't that how most boys under the age of about 16 act? They would rather be playing outside than sitting still? But 99% of them sit still when they're told they have to. Hence, no ADD.

So does this happen with autism? I'm certain of it. I'm certain there are cases of kids who misbehave and are incorrectly labeled as autistic. I'm certain there are doctors who are more inclined to do this because they get some sort of kick-back from pharmeceutical reps for prescribing more medications. I'm sure this happens. But is that to say that 99% of all autisic children are brats? I think he's going far overboard here. I'm beyond disgusted by his statements.

I'm sure you all remember when Imus was fired for his racial insult. He claims to have meant it in good fun and did not mean to offend. Now, I say things to my close friends that are offensive. I joke to Mark that he's chubby. I joke to my friend Justin about being Jewish. I've joked to Sara in the past about being pale-skinned or a dumb blonde. It happens, and they take it and they dish it right back out to me, and it's truly in good fun. Sara's coworkers years ago (who were primarily African American) joked that Sara and I were the whitest white chicks they had ever seen (we're both pale). It didn't offend me because it was in good fun, and I'm not easily offended and I surround myself around people who are the same way. I say these things to my friends because I love them, and I'm stereotyping them sarcastically, not really meaning it, and they know it. They know I'm not racist or cruel. Perhaps if Imus was alone with his good African American friend and he called her a knappy ho, and she called him a redneck cracker, that would be one thing. Friends joke like that, and don't mean harm. But in his case, I'm sure he was being pretty racist in his comments, or at the very least terribly ignorant and insensitive. Should he have been punished? Hell yes. He said something that was not appropriate to say on the radio and he got fired. As he should have. Now this guy,, this Michael Savage, is he going to get fired? Doubtful. He said something edgy, but not racist. Discriminatory, but not racist. Discriminatory against children. Are the autistic kids going to call in and complain so much that he is fired? No. If he said the same thing about, say, Catholic men, that 99% of them are brats, Catholics would call and scream. But he said something about children, who cannot and will not call and complain with huge public outcries. They're sort of defenseless here. Nothing is going to happen to this man.

Unless....

Unless the outraged adults complain in a public way. And I hope we all do. Because this is unacceptable. This is terrible, and I'm ashamed of him.

So, let's all stand up and shout that this is wrong. It's time to defend the children who have no voice, who have been wronged here.

If you would like to know what it is like to love and live with an autistic child, read this blog. She is a dear friend of mine, and I can only imagine how she and her husband feel right now. I'm sure they have heard about this. My heart breaks for them, and for all the other parents who go through this day in and day out. It's just not right, folks.

Wedding Dress

2008-07-20T12:33:00.004-04:00

I bought my dress yesterday. Off the rack, no alterations needed. I was in and out of the store in an hour, which is just how I like it.

This is the dress on the bridal site. I'm posting this because the picture of me wearing it does not show off the detail around the waist because of how I'm standing.

Dress

This is the picture of me wearing the dress. Ignore the annoyed face I have. I'm not sure what I was looking at.

Me in Dress

My mother is going to attach some straps. If we can find matching ribbon we'll probably use that. It fits well, but I'm self-conscious about it moving around, and I'll have a much better day if I don't have to worry about that.

We're working on our favors over the next few weeks. I think we'll get them done for under $50 which is pretty fantastic if you ask me. They're small white boxes topped with either a red or an orange gerbera daisy on top of a green leaf (all silk). Inside of the boxes will be some sort of nice chocolate. I'll have enough leftover flowers and leaves to decorate the cupcake tier as well. I'll take some photos over the next week or two.

Have a great weekend.

Invitations

2008-07-15T10:42:00.004-04:00

Well, the invitations are done. The date is set in stone for October 11th. We're meeting with the woman from the hotel tomorrow and hopefully we'll finalize the menu choices at that point so we can send out the invitations. All I have left on these invitations is to put address labels on the envelopes (already printed), to place the insert inside (already printed but not cut to size) with all the information, and to print the RSVP cards (done, just not printed) once we finalize the menu. We can do two entrees, and since we know a handful of vegetarians we thought the best option would be an herb crusted chicken or a mushroom wellington. So, once that's finalized, off they go.

Here's a link to the invitations.

The ones I'm using come after the ring photo. The ones before were practice.

Dance Me To The Wedding Now, Dance Me On and On

2008-07-08T12:42:00.003-04:00

Well, it's confirmed. The hotel has sent me a contract to sign and Mark and I are about to mail off our non-refundable deposit. Our date is set for October 11th, so unless the hotel screws something up and has overbooked for that date, we'll be happily married that Saturday. I kind of won't believe it until they've received my money and confirm that it's all set, but that's just my overly nervous nature talking and my pessimism shining through.

Plans have changed a billion times it seems, but it looks like we'll be doing it at a function room at a hotel instead of doing our backyard wedding. Time wise and for personal family reasons we just cannot do it at my parents house any more. We've booked it as a basic party (booking as a wedding is ridiculously expensive), and will invite family only and a very scant number of friends. Small, simple, and casual. Weather permitting we'll have our quickie ceremony in a park within walking distance of our apartment. There's a small cluster of maple trees that form a circle at the bottom of a nice hill, and it's a perfect spot for a casual ceremony. No chairs or anything, it will be simple. From there we'll head to the hotel for a night of dinner and dancing. No traditional wedding hooplah such as the first dance or cake cutting or tossing the bouquet, or anything like that. Just a nice big party with a classic rock/country band (his father is the drummer and they've offered to play for free). No photographers, no DJ, nothing wedding-like. I'm very, very excited. I prefer the nice casual party anyhow. Weddings are great, and if I had more money maybe I'd go more traditional, but since we don't this option seemed to be the one we both enjoyed the most.

My only wish was that people didn't have such a strong opinion of the right and wrong way to do things, and that people didn't have to be so negative about what should be the happiest, most important day in my life thus far. It seems like no matter what we have suggested, what we have planned to do, there's always someone standing there telling me that it's too soon, or too far away, or not good enough, or not unique enough, or whatever the case may be. It's starting to wear on me. I'm trying to just let it go.

This is the template for my invitations and they're about half completed so far. I had previously posted some designs I played around with and this was the winner. The difference is that the ones I'm actually going to be sending out will have a decorative background paper, and a solid stipe across the center with the hearts on either side of the stamped wedding dress image. Instead of "dream" I have chosen a stamp that says "all you need is love" in a nice cursive writing. Simple and fun. I'll post photos when they're completed. The details about the date and time and all of that will be printed from the computer on some white linen paper in a nice cursive or decorative font, and then placed inside. Total cost for all of this will be well under $20 plus postage. I may even be able to do the RSVP cards and place cards within that same budget. There's a chance I may need to pick up some more cardstock but I've been buying 12x12 sheets on sale for 16 cents each, so I'm not concerned that it's going to cost much more. And I'm using less than I thought I would, so I may not have to buy any at all.

Since flowers are not in our small budget, I've made myself a nice silk bouquet of burnt orange calla lilies for about $10. The 4th of July sale was great at Joann's, and I'm glad I thought to stop in there over the weekend because otherwise I would not have gotten as many flowers as I did for such a steal. We'll do some sort of handmade centerpiece / decoration for very inexpensively as well, if at all (it's the least important part of our budget and if we run out of money, so be it). Favors will likely be in the form of a candy bar, where people can take either decorated boxes or bags that I make and fill them up with a selection of old fashioned candies. This is not yet decided, but it's the idea Mark likes the best. I'm hopefully buying my dress this weekend, but photos obviously can't be posted because I don't want to ruin the surprise for Mark. It looks like things are moving smoothly though. We're very excited.

A Few of My Favorite Things

2008-06-25T08:20:00.003-04:00

I've lately been off of the hat kick (soon to be back on it though) and find myself onto simple wraps / capelets. And it's a great use of old bulky yarns that I have since lost interest in.

I'm also in love with scarflettes as a means of stashbusting small quantities of yarn. I'll upload some photos of those later on.

Things are very hectic here at the moment and I really hope they calm down sometime soon. Marley (my cat) is having some constipation issues again but the vets are on top of it, and though it's not fun to administer 3 laxatives a day to a kitty, she's doing alright. Just stressing mom out. Looks like her issues are a product of old age, simply put some senior cats 7 or so years and up lose their ability to poop properly, and she's one of the lucky ones who have been blessed with that disorder. The other 2 are just fine, no asthma attacks yet this summer. I swear, when I was a child I never heard of a single animal who got such bizarre and human-like illnesses!

The wedding is happening very, very quickly (this October is my hope). And no, not because I'm pregnant. :) Empire waisted shirts just happen to be in style lately, I'm not trying to hide anything! So many people keep asking me that. At first it made me giggle but now it's just annoying. Anyhow, we're dealing with a private family illness and we've decided that it would be best if we just went ahead and had ourselves a nice little family wedding this fall. The details have changed 1000 times so far and that's a bit frustrating, but now it's looking like we'll rent out a banquet room at a restaurant (we're looking at 2 in the coming week or so) and either do a buffet type dinner (very small guest list), or have a late night (8pm or so) wedding and do a more lavish hors D' oeuvres spread or dessert buffet with cocktails. We're leaning towards option #2. We'll have a band there (Mark's father is in a really great band and they've offered to play for free) and we'll mostly just have a nice party. Not really sure about the ceremony. If we do something earlier in the evening we'll probably just fork out a $25 permit fee to the city and do something quick in one of our really nice city parks under the trees or something. Very casual. Otherwise I think it will end up being in the banquet facility.

I hope everyone is well. Work is calling to me, as always. Have a great weekend!

Couple of New Hats

2008-06-02T10:57:00.003-04:00

I'm very pleased with how these two turned out, so I may write up a pattern for them. They used 3/4 of a skein of cotton-ease and then for the details I used leftover cotton-ease I had laying around. I like them both a lot. Both are for sale on Etsy along with a ton of knitting books and supplies I'm selling if anyone is interested. I listed them so that with the cost of shipping they're still well under retail price.

Wedding Invitations

2008-06-02T10:49:00.003-04:00

Wedding plans constantly change. We know for sure that it will be outdoors under a tent in my parents yard and will be low key, fun and laid back. Barbecue-style with Mark's Dad's band and close friends and family. Simple (and cheap!). Because of a family health issue it may end up being this fall if the treatment is successful and no further treatment will be needed. If further treatement is needed, it will be whenever the health situation is looking better. So, I'm making up all of my invitations right now because if it's this fall, when we make the final decision based on her health we're going to only have about 5 weeks notice to pull it all off. Which is fine, I'll just prepare ahead of time. I'm going to print up a nice insert for the invites with date, time, location etc. whenever we know them. But otherwise the invites will be basically what you see above, each one different, each one handmade, each one basic and simple and non-traditional. And if I end up needing all 50 invitations that I bought supplies to make (I won't, I'll use half of that I bet), then I will have spent well under $10 total for invites. But like I said I won't use all of it I don't think, so my expense here is very minimal.

Long Time No Update (Picture Heavy)

2008-05-25T10:19:00.003-04:00

It's been quite some time since I have posted an update! I've had a few personal health concerns, and some family health concerns to contend with during the last month, and I have not been in much of a posting mood.

Sara and I have spent an enormous amount of time trying to find our niche on Etsy. And after undertaking such an endeavor we basically said "Screw it" and have just decided to focus on the things we like to make. Lately we've both had our heart on bath and kitchen items. Sara is working on a few cotton travel toiletry bags that come with matching wash cloths, and those will be available soon. Very adorable, and I hope she makes me one for my next trip. :) My cotton bath obsession has been in the way of face scrubbies which, try as I might, I cannot seem to make enough of. Mark and my bathroom is bursting at the seams with scrubbies. I use them religiously now. I use smaller ones for my face and larger ones as a body cloth. Love, love love them. I've noticed an improvement in my complexion as well. I'm hooked.

I recently made a kitchen set for a friend of mine who is laid up for a few months after some orthopaedic surgery. I had gotten 24 skeins of SnC on eBay for a steal (Well under $1 per skein and that included the cost of shipping), and she mentioned a fondness for the "playtime" (which is the multi pink, orange and yellow shown below). So I made her up a kitchen set. Clockwise from the top: 4 square dish cloths, 3 round dishcloths, 3 double thickness "pot scrubbers" (which are awesome on the teflon and I will never go back to sponges again), and finally a set of 2 potholders. I was very happy to hear that she liked them.

The final, cumbersome, all-consuming obsession I cannot seem to shake is my obsession with hats. Newsboy/baseball-cap style hats in particular. I had acquired a handful of patterns, some free and some that I purchased, specifically to make myself a baseball style cap for the spring and summer. I had originally planned to use some Elsebeth Lavold Hempathy to make them, assuming it would be a nice light summer hat. As usual I started following a pattern but maybe two or three rounds into it I just strayed from it enormously. I tried another, and the same thing. It's not that I cannot find a pattern that I enjoy, because that isn't the case. In fact I'm so in love with Ele Shnier's cotton version and would love to eventually have one for myself. But I just have the hardest time reading a pattern and not changing something about it as I'm going. I'm....I don't know....not a follower I guess. I'm stubborn, I'm a pain in the ass, and I just have to do my own thing.

So anyhow, these are the hat "designs" I have tried over the last 2 or so months. Some are more hippie-ish and slouchy. Some are roomy. Some are basic. Some are more girly and have a nice shell stitch pattern. My favorite unfortunately is a terrible photo that is possibly going to get me in trouble. The last hat below is my dear Sara and I say terrible because it just doesn't show the stitch pattern well. Otherwise it's a nice picture of her, and hopefully she won't mind that I stole it off her myspace page. Sorry hon and thank you. :) The last hat that Sara is modeling is the design I've settled on, and I recently made myself one out of Charcoal Cotton-Ease. I love it. I still haven't quite perfected the brim, it's just not where I want to be yet. Straight across doesn't work for me. A slight peak in the center is nice. Two peaks evenly spaced looks good. Wider brims look better to me than smaller ones. But....I want them to be firmer and I can't really go down a hook size or crochet tighter. Maybe it's just the nature of yarn brims, maybe they will never be extremely stiff. I'll figure something out. But for now, here are some pictures.

Hazelnut and Lake Cotton-Ease, sized for a toddler. Not my design, I copied (by look and from memory) a custom order Sara made for Etsy.

This was the first shell stitch newsboy I did, and I really love the way it turned out. I alternated the shell stitching each row. It's one of my favorites. This uses Lake Cotton Ease.

I like the idea of 100% cotton hats (the next ones are just SnC) but they end up being too firm and "formed." The shape holds well, which is fine unless you want a softer hat that will sort of form to your head. This one is extra roomy. I like it a lot but the colors are not a favorite. It was a stash buster. The stitches are too large and I should go down a hook size. I forget sometimes that cotton stitches pop so much.

This one is better than the above one I think. More what I was going for. Love it, except for the colors. Another stash buster. I will not do a wide stripe again either. Didn't like it, and learned my lesson. Like smaller stripes. The brim goes straight across, but see how it waves a bit in the center? It's a little wonky. I think a peaked brim works better.

This one is worked to be slouchy. I don't have a good photo of it on. I sold this to a girl on Etsy who sent us a picture and it looked great on her. The slouch part was a result of too many stitches while increasing in the round. The top, flat part of the hat is worked so it has a bit of a ruffle or wave to it, and then the remainder of the hat is worked the same. It gives it an interesting look. This is Violet Cotton-Ease.

And this is the best one, the design for now that wins. I have 2 more skeins of Cotton Ease in Almond and Cactus to make 2 more of these. I love how the stitch pattern is diagnol around the body of the hat. I plan to write up the pattern for this and offer it on Ravelry. I would like to finalize my brim design though. I still cannot quite decide which of the 3 or 4 styles I like best.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend. I am spending time with family and very happily so. I'm making dinner for a crowd tonight. I need to make low-fat foods because of my stomach issues. I found some ground hamburger today at the store that is endorsed by the American Heart Society. It's only 4.5 grams of fat per serving (a serving is 1/4 pound) and it's 96%/4% lean. It's not a local brand, it's a national brand, and it cooked up amazingly. We made meatballs with it this morning, and there was not a drop of grease in that pan. Pretty exciting that I'll be able to have some beef today. It's been a long time, and I wish I had found this sooner. It was more lean than the low fat ground turkey and the lean ground bison. Anyhow, have a great weekend everyone.

Fishing Hat

2008-04-23T08:55:00.004-04:00

About 2 weeks ago I made a fishing hat / bucket hat using 2nd Time Cotton by Knit One Crochet Two:

I think the hat turned out fantastic. I had planned to do Annette's Fun in the Sun Hat from last Summer's IW Crochet, but, in my typical style, I mostly winged it. I did reference a few patterns here and there for various parts of the hat.

Will I buy the yarn again? It's hard to say. I did like working with it a lot. It's 75% Cotton and 25% Acrylic, so kind of smack dab in the middle of Sugar'n Cream and Cotton-Ease. What drives me crazy about Cotton-Ease is that it stretches like there's no tomorrow. At least the hats that I've made out of it have stretched after a few weeks of daily wear. This hat doesn't seem to want to stretch that much, so that quality may turn out to be pretty great in a hat. And if that's the case, I may invest in some more in the future. Lately I'm obsessed with hats, so I'm always on the look-out for a good hat yarn. I would prefer this yarn to be a little less pricey, but that could just be my LYS. I noticed that compared to a few other shops, this one tended to be on the high side. However, the selection was great and we're not exactly overflowing with yarn stores in this area, so I'll definitely revisit the store again.

Free Pattern: Too Hot Pot Holders

2008-04-22T21:14:00.004-04:00

I needed some new pot holders and, if you're like me these days, it's hard to justify buying something you know you can make.

Materials:

2 balls of Sugar'n Cream Cotton Yarn (2.5 ounces each)--I had some leftover after making 2 potholders.

J Hook

Holding two strands of yarn together, chain 6. Join with a sl st to form a ring.

(I hate weaving in the ends so from this point forward, crochet over your yarn tail to avoid this step)

Work 12 hdc into ring. sl st to first hdc, ch 1 and turn.

R1: hdc in next two stitches; 3 hdc in next stitch; hdc in next two stitches. ch 1 and turn.

R2: hdc in next three stitches; 3 hdc in next stitch; hdc in next three stitches. ch 1 and turn.

R3: hdc in next four stitches; 3 hdc in next stitch; hdc in next four stitches. ch 1 and turn.

R4: hdc in next five stitches; 3 hdc in next stitch; hdc in next five stitches. ch 1 and turn.

Repeat this pattern of adding one hdc on either side of the 3-hdc corner for a total of 17 Rounds.

You should end with hdc in 16 stitches, 3 hdc in next stitch, hdc in next 16 stitches. Fasten off and weave in end.

I find that with a ch 1 instead of ch 2, you don't have to sc around the edges for a finished look.

Let me know how it works out!

(c) 2008 by April Magnuson. You may not reproduce this pattern or any part of it for distribution or sale. You are welcome to sell any completed project resulting from this pattern without prior permission from me.

Few More Self-Striping Pictures

2008-04-22T21:10:00.005-04:00

I'm pretty happy with the yarn. And the face scrubbies actually. There are a handful of other ones that have more subtle color changes. Definitely livens up the kitchen cotton I think. Sara made a few bath sets and put them on our etsy store that have very soft, beautiful colors. www.mabscrochet.etsy.com There's a billion projects on there that I have not blogged about if you want to see what I've been up to.

Sugar'n Cream Self Striping Yarn

2008-04-13T18:52:00.003-04:00

Super quick post. I had quite a few emails from people asking that I post photos of the self-striping Sugar'n Cream. Well, here you have it. I made a kitchen towel to hang on the oven door. I haven't blocked it yet so it's out of shape and crooked, but this gives you an idea of how it stripes. This particular colorway is Holiday Stripes. In the photo it looks red and green, but in person it looks pink. I wouldn't have even thought it looked holiday-ish, but regardless I'll probably keep this in a drawer until November or December, and have it be one of my holiday towels. I'm probably going to make 2 more with the remaining 4 skeins I have.

Birthday Loot

2008-04-07T14:52:00.003-04:00

First of all, thank you for all the happy birthday emails I received today!

How about some loot?

Saturday afternoon Mom and Dad took Sara and I on my birthday shopping spree to the Elegant Ewe. First off, the store was loaded with crocheted projects in addition to knit and woven projectsm which was awesome. Second, I got some great yarns and I'm so excited! This is 2nd Time Cotton by Knit One Crochet Two, which is 75% cotton and 25% acrylic. I plan to make Annette Petavy's Fun in the Sun Hat from last summer's Interweave Crochet. It will be my fishing hat. The colors are great.

Second is O-Wool. 50% organic cotton, 50% organic wool. It's so soft and lucious. This will be a nice hat as well.

Third we have Hempathy by Elsebeth Lavold. I plan to make a newsboy/baseball style hat.

nd finally, two skeins of Noro for an earflap hat for next winter.

I know I'm planning 4 hats but I'm a hat person. I will wear the hemp and the bucket hat in warm weather. The other two will be my winter hats for next year.

I also wound over a mile of yarn on Saturday. The top two balls are Silky Wool by Elsebeth Lavold purchased in October. The middle two are wool that I picked up at the Knit and Crochet Convention last summer, along with the bottom ball, which is 700 yards of Peruvian Alpaca. I'm not sure what these will become but I forced myself to wind them before I played with the new stuff.

Mark got me some buttons from an antique store:

And a gift card for Michaels, which I used on 5 skeins of Cotton Ease in Stone for a shrug, and 3 balls of Hemp for making some crocheted bowls or boxes.

And though I hate football, he got me 4 football movies because for the life of me I cannot get enough of them. I love football movies. Go figure.

Sara and Justin got me a gift card to Victoria Secrets which I used to buy some PJs.

Sara got me some of the self-striping Sugar n Cream.

And lastly, Sara made me an adorable hat that I wore all morning when I was running errands.

So there you have it. Tons of goodies. I'm overwhelmed with yarn. And so excited!

Test Results

2008-04-07T14:46:00.002-04:00

This is just a copy of an email because I'm too lazy to retype everything.

Hi, I'm sorry I haven't written sooner about my most recent test results. It took a while to get the results and talk with him so I didn't know much of anything for a while. I did talk with him last week though and the gallbladder test was normal. He says that even though I have classic gallbladder symptoms he is worried that surgery would not fix my problem since I have had 4 normal tests on my gallbladder. So, he is treating me for non-ulcer dyspepsia given my current normal tests (they have tested me for everything and everything is negative). Basically, it still could be gallbladder or it could be something else, but the likelihood is that its non-ulcer dyspepsia. He is treating me for this and if I get worse or I stay the same and don't respond to treatment, he will reasses me in June and may decide at that point to send me to surgery.

Doctor's are divided about non-ulcer dyspepsia and what causes it. Basically your body acts and feels like it has an ulcer but there isn't one. It's painful and can be chronic, or it can be episodic, or it can be acute and then disappear. What they're divided about is the cause of it. Some believe it's a reaction to stress. Others believe its a condition that occurs after a virus when the GI tract is weakened. Still, others believe that its linked to the gallbladder. In 50% of patients with this disorder, gallbladder surgery fixes the problem, so it could be related to bile back-up or an over-production of bile. Though there's a 50/50 chance I'd be fine after surgery, he wants to wait and see how I respond to a new treatment over the next few months before he makes that decision. I did not respond to acid blockers like Nexium and those types of drugs over the last 4 months. He is weaning me slowly off of those right now. He's doing it slowly just so my body can adjust. I'm down from 2 pills a day to 1 and doing fine. After 3-4 weeks or so I'll come off of it completely. He's switched me to a liquid medicine that coats the stomach but does not stop acid reduction. It is a medicine that will heal an ulcer or gastritis after about 90 days. I'm on a 3 month course of it right now. Interestingly, I didn't notice much at first but now I'm feeling better and better. It's been about 3-4 weeks. I used to have a chronic gnawing pain in my stomach all the time. That has gone away to a large degree, and only happens for a short time every few days. I've only noticed this huge difference in how I feel over the last week or so. Prior to that I felt sick every single day. I do not know if i can eat a normal meal yet because I'm a bit frightened to try. When I eat normal foods in the past, I'd end up in the ER. So, I'm slowly increasing my fat intake and that's going well. When I feel a little more confident I'll try to eat a semi-normal meal on a Saturday evening, so if I have to go to the ER at least it will be a convenient time. I've gained 3 pounds this month and am actually finally up to 100 pounds though, so that's very good. I used to get sick after about 2-3 grams of fat. Now I can tolerate 6 to 8 per meal with no troubles, so long as its not greasy and oily. I think slowly adding more fat each week is working well for me. Rushing it might cause problems. I don't know if it's this non-ulcer stomach pain, but the treatment is working. I don't agree that in my case it's related to stress because I feel so great these days in that department (thank you Mark!). I do know that I trust the doctor and I feel confident in how he is treating me. He doesn't agree that my issue is stress either. He said usually in those situations someone will lose a few pounds, but not the 23 pounds I've lost. He knows my stomach is ill, but unfortunately some of these weird stomach and digestive problems are hard to diagnose. He said my diagnosis is not static, and he isn't afraid to change his mind if the non-ulcer dyspepsia treatments do not help. I do seem to be responding to this medication though so that's something to be very happy about.

Blame it on the Bloggers

2008-03-27T14:49:00.003-04:00

Or you can blame Deneen and Bron specifically. :) These two blogs give me lots and lots of ideas for projects, and remind me of patterns I've acquired and may like to use some day. Blogging has really become a great network for me to get ideas.

Sometime in the Fall of 2007 I purchased Positively Crochet by Mary Jane Hall. Like every pattern book or magazine I have, when I get it I pour through it and leave little sticky-notes on any pages that contain projects I would like to make (you'll see them in the below photos). Well, I have a serious case of book acquision syndrome and the reality is that I rarely make the projects I like so much. But a day or two ago, I was reading one of Deneen's posts about the book and I thought to myself....hmmm...why did I put that book away and forget about it? Then this morning, I discovered that Bron discussed the book, too. Kind of a fateful reminder.

So, here are a few patterns I'd like to make this year.

I love this felted bag. Simple and cute. I absolutely hate the popcorn looking trim along the top, but the brown and teal are quite lovely together.

This bag is made with Jiffy and I would not use that yarn for a purse. But a nice cotton or wool bag in this pattern would be really quite lovely. Oh, also minus the tassle.

This would be perfect for work in the warmer weather.

The white sweater on the cover is what caused me to buy the book in the first place. But again, what's with all the popcorn looking danglies in this book? The sweater is great without it though, I think. Not sure about the neckline. It's pretty, but is it practical?

This shrug is likely what I'll make first. There's one other in the book that I also would like to make.

So, I completely blame blogger-dom for getting me all psyched up for some of these projects. I probably wouldn't have thought to pull it out of the bookshelf so soon otherwise. I love how much I am exposed to via blogging, and all the ideas I gleam from people. So, thanks ladies for reminding me about this book. Now I have about 12 more to peek at to see if there's anything that strikes my fancy. :)

Noro Tote

2008-03-24T18:08:00.003-04:00

Finally finished and felted the Noro tote bag. I adore it. I used 4.5 skeins and a J hook.

The outside pocket holds my cell phone, and there's a larger pocket on the inside to hold little odds and ends.

I also made a small gray bag using some Paton's wool to hold my checkbook and a pen. It matches the Noro bag and fits wonderfully inside.

Hat Stand

2008-03-24T13:44:00.002-04:00

My Daddy made me a gorgeous hat stand specifically for photographing hats for etsy. It's really lovely. Actually, do you see what it's sitting on top of? That's a tongue drum that he made me last year. It has a rubber mallet and when you play it, it sounds like a xylaphone. Really pretty. His woodworking skills are fantastic.

Etsy

2008-03-24T12:52:00.002-04:00

The Etsy Store that Sara and I opened is doing relaly well. Thank you all for your moral support and for looking at our stuffs. There's a handful of other items that I've made recently that I'm too lazy to post right now, but if you look at the store you'll see everything we have. Most of the 35 items in the store are things we've made since approximately December.

Sara's Shawl

2008-03-24T12:47:00.002-04:00

Most certainly not a great photo. It's a basic triangle shawl in half double crochet made for her birthday in the beginning of March. Took me about 4 days.

Details:
5 skeins of Lion Jiffy in purple

Small amount of Lion Jiffy in teal

L-hook

The Jiffy is not a favorite of mine however it worked out really well. My reason for making her this shawl wasn't for some cute, stylish accessory. I wanted her to have something that she could wear around the house when it's chilly. Like everyone else in the US right now, you try to conserve your heat because oil, propane and gas are so expensive. The one excellent thing about Jiffy is that it's crazy warm. So, it serves the purpose I was hoping it would. And despite the crappy picture, it's pretty cute.

Green Market Tote

2008-03-24T12:40:00.003-04:00

Because I work 8 to 12 hours a day at my job, I end up having to tote a bunch of stuff with me. Particularly, I take a bunch of stomach medicine before and after meals, and I also bring a lunch and often times a dinner with me. I made this cotton tote bag for carrying these items in particular. I wanted cotton so it was durable and washable, in case there's ever some food that spills, or liquid meds or whatever.

This gives you an idea of why I wanted a separate bag for medicine. This one bottle is a 9 day supply of one medicine, and it's a huge bottle. Add to that 3 other bottles plus food and I feel like I'm bringing my whole kitchen pantry with me. The tote is a bit more stylish than a plastic grocery bag, which I was using previously.

Stats:

1 ball of the super sized Lily Sugar n Cream in Hot Green (I used about 3/4)

Small amount of same in black

H-hook

I know but I don't know...

2008-03-24T12:29:00.003-04:00

I'm sorry for the lack of update from the tests. I really don't know anything yet, so there's not much I can say. The test was fine, a little sucky and I didn't feel well the rest of the day, but ultimately it was just fine.

What I do know is that the nuclear medicine department considers my results to be normal. The doctor has not yet reviewed them and he isn't due back into his office until Wednesday so it will be a few more days. What I am unsure of is whether or not he will take into account my symptoms and my previous results, and still consider my newest result to be normal. He had previously said if there was a change in my gallbladder function he would send me to a surgeon. Well, there was a change. A 40% +/- change. I went from being at the very tail end of the normal to low range, to being 4% above what is considered to be the upper end of the normal range. So, despite all the meds I'm on (the antispasmodic especially, which slows the entire GI system down), my gallbladder function went way, way up. Not sure if he will consider that to be anything of importance or not. Though he said a significant change would result in the surgical consult, I'm not sure if he was expecting a change in the opposite direction. So, who knows. I'll let you know when I find out. They say that an overactive gallbladder can be just as bad as an underactive one. Is mine overactive? Or is it working okay somedays and not others? I don't know. I'll really just have to wait to see what he says.

Lizze, I'm sorry I haven't checked in with you in a week, but thank you for checking in on me. I'll be sure to catch up in a day or two.

Today I am taking a day off from work for a nice "mental health" day. I've been stressed with medical stuff and it's nice to just take a day off for fun. Just hanging out and crocheting. Well, and somehow doing laundry and cleaning and other household things. I feel restored and cozy, so that's good. Work and life have been a little more stressful than usual lately, so today is a nice little reprieve.

Thank you everyone for your emails. Things here really are just fine. A little nervous tension but nothing major.

Tomorrow's the Big Day...

2008-03-17T08:25:00.003-04:00

I have my HIDA scan first thing in the morning at the hospital to measure my gallbladder function. It's the one test of all of them I'd rather not repeat because the hormone injection made me fairly sick, but I'm glad to be having it regardless. It will at least tell me once and for all if it's gallbladder or something else. If not, I'm not sure what tests come next, but at least something will be ruled out. If the function is below 35% I'll be off to the surgeon. I hope this mess is resolved soon. The weight loss really worries me. I've found some low fat/high cal foods though so I'm hoping to gain a few pounds. The new medicine kicks my ass in many ways but now that I've been on it for one week, the side effects seem to be lessening and it's not as bothersome. I suspect I'll eventually be tolerating it just fine. It seems to be helping that one stomach pain I get, but it's hard to say that I feel better since I've been nauseas, bloated, crampy and vomiting for a week now. It's better each day though, like I said, and I suspect it will work out.

Tomorrow, hopefully, something yarny to post. I have a few items that have been completed lately, but it seems like so little to me. I made a shawl for my best friend's birthday which I neglected to photograph. Purple Jiffy. I'm not a fan of Jiffy, but back in the day I was, and I think I bought the yarn for this shawl over a year ago specifically for her. Fast foward to March--I was dreading making it for her but now I'm very glad that I did. The one thing I didn't take into consideration with Jiffy is that it's insanely warm. So, it serves its purpose as a house shawl to keep her cozy. The other big project is my Noro tote bag that I've been working on since October. I kept putting it down and forgetting about it. I should have it felted tomorrow and ready for pictures.

I ordered some yarn for another blanket for Sara as well. We're doing a little afghan exchange, due by 6/1. I'm modifying a pattern that I cannot disclose or else she'll find out. I'm worried that it will be too busy, though that's how it's supposed to be. Busy, but hip and stylish. I'll have to play around with the pattern. It calls for sock weight yarn and I'm sorry, but I'm not a lunatic who would make a blanket with sock weight yarn. I'm using worsted weight and a larger hook. So...lots of modifications. If I follow the pattern exactly it would end up about 12 feet wide. It's my favorite blanket pattern of all time and I hope to make one for myself one day. I really hope she likes it. If it's terrible, I don't know what I'll do. She isn't the type of person that I would ordinarly make something funky, loud and ridiculous for. It would be something feminine and pretty, or it would be a star shaped ripple afghan. I don't know what propelled me to choose this pattern. I guess because I like it so much, and it seems like a lot of work. You know how you can more easily justify spending your time making something for someone else, than you can justify spending the same amount of time making something for yourself? I want to make it so badly, but I have a hard time justifying taking the time to make it for myself. It's not even remotely difficult to justify spending that time on something for her though. At the very least, she'll get something with more love in it than I've ever made before, since I'm so in love with the pattern.

Good News

2008-03-08T10:14:00.002-05:00

I never thought this would qualify as good news, but....

I'm sick!

And I couldn't be happier. The new doc was pretty fantastic. He said there is no way that stress would cause me to lose all this weight and have the pain I'm having. I know it might sound stupid, but I really did need that validation after what the last doctor told me.

He's leaning toward gallbladder. Doesn't trust the previous HIDA scan results since I was given 2 different results. So, Monday morning the hospital will call to reschedule that test. If it shows any decrease in function he's sending me to a surgeon immediately.

Since I still have burning discomfort on all these acid-blockers we're phasing them out and replacing them with Carafate, which should coat my stomach to reduce any discomfort. He says that the dose of Protonix I'm on now would mean that my stomach is producing no acid whatsoever, so that acid-type-burning I get is not actually caused by acid. Chronic indigestion is common with gallbladder issues though.

If the gallbladder test comes back negative and it's functioning well, he's got a whole bunch of other tests in mind.

Also, if it turns out to be my gallbladder he did warn that there may be a secondary issue, that gb removal may not equal a cure. We just don't know, and wouldn't know until after I've healed from surgery. But he said that if my gallbladder isn't functioning well enough, it will at least be a large piece of the puzzle we've figured out.

He's very alarmed at my weight loss and wants to run tests ASAP and get me some relief quickly so I can start eating more fats. If it's gallbladder, he wants me to have surgery sooner than later so that I can put some weight back on after healing.

All in all, a good appointment. I don't mind one bit that he said "I don't know" and talked about various things that could be causing my issues. I don't care that he needs to run many more tests to figure this out. The only thing that matters to me is that he believes that I'm truly sick, believes it's a serious condition, and is willing to do everything he can to try to figure out how to help me get better. That's all I've needed all along...a smart, caring doctor in my corner.

It's Here

2008-03-07T09:48:00.003-05:00

The long awaited first appointment with the new GI specialist is this afternoon. I made the appointment 10 weeks ago, and I've been rather impatient for this day to arrive.

When this first started in October, I was in a lot more pain than I'm in now. Reason being, the first few weeks I was put on a basic ulcer/gastritis diet. Unfortunately, I was avoiding the wrong foods. So as a result, I was in pretty awful pain most of the time, because I hadn't yet made the strong connection between my symptoms and what I put into my body. After a few months of trial and error, I've gotten to a point where those bouts of awful pain only come once per week, sometimes once every other week. It's always, always after something fattening. And when I say "fattening" I don't mean McDonald's cheeseburger. I mean fattening as in 2 or 3 grams of fat can trigger a painful reaction. I stick to about 3 grams of fat or less per meal. Every now and again even that will have me doubled over in pain, but for the most part it works out well. I have a good idea of what to avoid in order to function well without extreme. Which also means, I can give my doctor a more accurate picture of what is going on. In the beginning all I knew was that I hurt, and I hurt badly, more often than not. Now I'm hoping that knowledge is power, and with this more specific picture of what my symptoms are and when they occur, the new doctor will be able to pinpoint what is wrong with me. No matter what it is, at this point I don't care, so long as it's something tangible, something with a name and a course of treatment.

I know full well that eating less than 10 grams of fat per day is not healthy, and I know sooner or later it's going to catch up to me in ways other than fatigue and weight loss. The weight loss is bad enough. Mark and I often watch the show "Intervention" about people with addiction problems. They frequently document individuals with eating disorders. Like most people, I find myself a bit horrified to see a woman with bones jutting out of her body because she is anorexic. It's heart-breaking and it's so unhealthy. Well, the other night I was undressing for bed, and I caught myself in the mirror out of the corner of my eye. I'm not really body-conscious. I never have been. I don't stand in front of the mirror and check myself out with no clothing on, so it's not unusual that with all this weight loss I haven't really paid much attention to how my body actually looks. So I was changing out of my work clothes, and I saw my ribs, every single one of them. It stopped me dead in my tracks and I found my self grasping at my torso and starting to cry. I could count every rib. If I lean forward my spine sticks out of my back like a mohawk. My collar bone and my breast bone are both extremely prominent. My pelvic bones are sticking out. It horrified me. I don't know why I hadn't noticed this before. I know that often times if Mark hugs me, it hurts, and I've known on some conscious level that it's because I'm so boney, but I've tried to pretend it's not bothersome. I've tried to ignore the weight loss because I'm trying to remain positive and not get upset, because I know it won't help me in any way. But what I saw in that mirror? It was a total stranger. It was a body I didn't even recognize. In four months, I've lost 25% of my body weight. I cannot go on like this. So, I pray this doctor can help me. I pray that he will hear me, and see me, and take this very seriously. In the beginning I swore up and down that stress was not playing a role in these stomach issues. But now, I cannot deny that my stomach issues are playing a huge role in my stress level.

So I hope and I pray that today's appointment can give me some positive news.

Ben Affleck is MORE annoying than Matt Damon...

2008-02-25T22:10:00.003-05:00

But Jimmy Kimmel's response to girlfriend Sarah Silverman's infidelity is pretty fantastic.

Jimmy Kimmel f***s Ben Affleck

Same with my last post about this subject...don't watch this video around the kiddos.

Remember this tote bag?

2008-02-22T10:46:00.002-05:00

A few weeks back I felted it into this:

My dissapointment? See how along the green edges where the seams are, how on the inside of those seams is a jagged white edge? Terrible design flaw that irritates me. I had decided to do the bottom and sides solid white. So to make the seam look good when I sewed the pieces together, I opted to outline the striped front in a white single crochet border. See, at first I planned to seam them together in WHITE. I didn't have enough white left though, so I chose green. So when I seamed the pieces up, you can see that white sc border. Damn!

Daisy

2008-02-22T10:40:00.004-05:00

I made a hat last weekend that I find to be particularly cute.

Sara's head is not lumpy, I'm not sure what's up with this photo. Isn't that button cute?

I listed it in the etsy store. I have since gotten a custom order for one for a Red Hat luncheon.

Relieved

2008-02-21T15:51:00.002-05:00

I met my new doctor yesterday and was instantly filled with great relief. My initial consultation is in approximately 10 days. I had stopped into the office to fill out the medical release to get my records from the other doctor's office. The new doctor heard me talking with the receptionist and actually walked over to say hello and shake my hand. He left a great first impression.

I've been having some *off* days lately but I've also had some minor successes. I'm still doubled over if I eat fat. However, my diet is much more complete now that I've been researching and practicing and using new recipes. Though I know I'm getting too little fat (I eat 2 grams give or take per meal), I'm getting enough of my other essential vitamins and nutrients finally. I've also discovered through trial and error that Protonix sucks for me and Nexium works very well. The insurance actually said no to the Nexium until I tried Protonix. Well, it's been 3 months of minor, constant gnawing in my gut on the Protonix. When I, out of curiosity, decided to use the 24 day supply of Nexium I had in the way of free samples, I had about 24 pain free days. Still couldn't eat fat, but the times between meals felt great. And I have experimented with foods, and there is nothing fat free or low fat that I cannot eat. I can eat it all. It's 100% fat related. I've kept a pain "log" where I write down what I've eaten, what my mood is, what's going on, etc. every time I have a painful episode. I can't see any correlation between stress and stomach issues either. It seems 100% fat related.

So with my research my best guess is gallbladder. I think the first pregnant doc who is now on maternity leave was onto something. My second guess is non-ulcer dyspepsia which I highly doubt, but won't rule it out yet. If it was this I suspect I'd have issues with spicy foods too, and acidic foods. But I don't. Just fattening foods. So I tend to think that it's not dyspepsia or gastritis or h.pylori given that other indigestion-causing foods have no effect on me. It's not impossible but I do think if it was one of those things, more than fat would have an effect.

Anyhow, aside from feeling really tired all the time from the 20 pound weight loss that was entirely unnecessary, I'm feeling mostly optimistic. I hadn't been, until I met my new doctor. Something about him and his demeanor just struck a chord with me. I'm hoping my instincts are right about him.

Singles Awareness Day

2008-02-14T12:30:00.004-05:00

***Warning: Slight rant coming up. I don't mean to take away from those who enjoy and celebrate Valentine's Day. I think it's great that people do. So please don't take it the wrong way and think I'm saying anything negative about the people who love the idea of today.***

For most of my adult life I have wanted to start a movement to ban Valentine's Day, or at least change its title to be a more honest reflection of what the day really is. While I've never been single on Valentine's Day (not in my adult life anyhow), over the years I've had many friends who were. Most of these friends were very strong, independent individuals who didn't shriek about being single, were not desperate to find a significant other, and certainly did not spend their time lamenting their singlehood. That is, until Valentine's Day. Have you ever noticed that single people feel so much more single on Valentine's Day? My strongest, most independent friends did, and these are tough cookies, folks, not people who would whine about being alone. I think it's kind of a travesty that this day makes people the world over feel terrible about themselves.

For most of my adult life I have not been single at all really. I've always had a significant other on Valentine's Day. And even so, I still felt terribly alone and lamentful every year on February 14th. I do not think I'm the only attached woman to feel that way either. I would see the commercials, I would hear people talk about it, and I would think, "Why isn't he doing that for me?" Or, "I wish he was more romantic." How many of you have ever thought that? Your friend gets gorgeous flowers or jewelry or what have you, and you don't...isn't there usually a bit of jealousy that you don't want to admit to?

As women, do we just have too many expectations? Or do we rely too heavily upon the television to tell us how to act, think, feel? Are our social cues learned from a marketing firm?

I am proud to say that on this day I am feeling fantastic. Fabulous even. Mark and I are not exchanging gifts. We discussed it last night and (supposedly) he had planned to pick something up for me. I expressed a non-interest. And I actually meant it this time. I think the difference is that I'm finally in a relationship where I don't need gifts to believe he wants to be with me. I don't need the reaffirmation. I know he loves me. And I'm not in need of a holiday to remind me or fill me with happiness. It's a pretty kickass feeling. Honestly, I'd be bothered if he didn't somehow acknowledge it. But I hope he acknowledges it by having the litterboxes scooped already when I get home from work at 9pm, or the dishes done, so I can sit down after an 11 hour work day and actually relax. To me, that sort of gift is priceless.

For those who do enjoy the day and the romance of it, more power to you. Have fun. Be merry. It's magical to feel giddy and lovey, no matter what. For those who are single and feel a bit burnt by Hallmark, look in the mirror and remind yourself that you're not just single, you're single and fabulous. And for people like me who feel like this day is not important in the whole scheme of your relationship, isn't it kind of a nice feeling? A freeing feeling?

Have fun today no matter what your situation is. Hopefully it's magical for you!

Blanket Stats and More Stash Diving

2008-02-12T10:05:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned previously, I used up 7 skeins of acrylic yarn. Most of the yarn I think was RH Super Saver. I believe there were a few skeins of Mainstays in there, which I had gotten a box of from the woman who taught me to crochet (16+/- years ago!). It was a good stash buster. I of course forgot to measure the width when I was done (it was past my bedtime), but the length is 60 inches. If I had to guess I'd say the width was around 48. I edged it in black, which used up another partial mystery skein. Total time from start to finish was 14 days. I used a big L hook. Our third floor apartment is beyond hot (the heat hasn't come on yet this year, put it that way, and our bedroom window has never been closed all the way). I can't even imagine having used an H or I hook--it would be so dense and thick. Much, much too warm for our needs.

My next stash buster is using up roughly 15 full and partial skeins of wool. I'm making a striped rug that I'll felt once it's completed. Not certain if I will sew the rug onto a rug backing or just lay it on top of one. I suppose it will depend upon the care instructions. The finished rug should be approximately 4 x 3 and it will go in the kitchen in front of the sink.

Then it's onto the circle motif rug (this is someone's version of it, not the designer's) from Crochet Me. I believe I have enough Sugar 'n Cream to complete it. I may alter it slightly and make it just a bit smaller to better fit my bathroom. I'm using 100% cotton, double stranded, thinking it will make a nice bathmat. Our shower curtain is striped, and I thought the circles would add a nice contrast. It will be primarily white, with some very pale yellow circles thrown in there and a touch of pale blue. Like the living room pillows, the shower curtain has about 8 different colors in it. I won't be using them all this time around though. ;)

I'm hoping 2008 ends with me having used up a large portion of my stash. Once these 2 fairly sizeable projects are done, I've got one more enormous plastic bin of yarn to get through. I anticipate a lot of smaller projects, maybe a baby blanket or two where I have a few skeins of similar yarn, but mostly hats and scarves and that sort of thing. I'm hoping to put as much of it as I can on mine and Sara's etsy store.

I still have 700 yards of sportweight Alpaca that I plan to turn into a shawl or bolero this year. I haven't seen a ton of patterns that stand out to me, so I may wing it. I don't know if you recall, but back in July when Mom was in the hospital I made a shrug/bolero something-er-other. I hadn't planned to make this project, but while spending 10 hours in a hospital waiting room this is what I came up with completely on an exhausted whim. I've never used it; I look at it more as a practice/proto-type I suppose since the yarn choice is so inappropriate for a wearable item (in my opinion anyhow). The process taught me how to shape a basic shrug or bolero, and I'm thinking I will take the basics of this shrug and add some style to it. It might be a fun challenge at the very least.

That's all for now. Hope you're all having a great week.

Happy Birthday Mark

2008-02-11T21:39:00.001-05:00

Used up 7 nearly full skeins of mystery acrylic yarn (no labels anymore). He loves it, and 7 skeins of yarn are gone.

I don't like Matt Damon...

2008-02-06T12:58:00.001-05:00

...but I laughed my ass of when I watched this video.

Sara Silverman fu**s Matt Damon
Not child appropriate

Obsession

2008-02-03T10:57:00.001-05:00

Sara bought a ton of Paton's SWS for us to fuel our latest obsession with felted bags.

Sara's Bags:

April's Bags:

We created and listed them all in an Etsy store this weekend.

Postcard Project

2008-02-01T09:58:00.000-05:00

I stumbled across this blog and am intrigued. I sent along my address this morning.

Who Needs Yoga?

2008-01-30T08:43:00.001-05:00

I ran across this article this morning that links knitting and crocheting with relaxation and stress reduction. Now if only it would help me shed my Type A personality.

Hideous Kinky

2008-01-28T21:09:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, my dear Mark isn't color blind. His favorite colors are a conscious choice.

When we moved in together I made him these pillows for the couch, using colors I knew he would love. The back sides are solid red. They're nice, and on a small scale in a beige living room they do provide a nice spash of color.

However, on a large scale, these colors are a bit too much. But still I soldier on, because when Mark looks at it there is a certain amount of excitement in his eyes. It will make him happy, and I can't deny the enjoyment I'll get out of using up 9 fairly unattractive skeins of yarn.

But seriously? I wish we were both color blind.

Tote Bag

2008-01-28T20:59:00.001-05:00

I spent the weekend working on a tote bag. The body is made in 5 pieces (front, back, bottom and 2 sides). When I seamed them together I decided to do a more decorative attachment by working half double crochet stitches on the outside edges when I attached them.

Need to felt it still. Would it be wise to remove the straps beforehand and sew them back on after the fact?

I had 6 skeins of Lion Wool from my best friend Sara. I was almost out of the off-white, and used just a touch of the second skeins of the brown and green. I used a J hook, which I typically use when I felt anything.

I'm pleased with it. Hopefully it will felt nicely. It's pretty large, so I'll likely line it afterward.

Have a good night!

Are We There Yet??

2008-01-23T08:34:00.000-05:00

What is it about this month that's just sucking the life out of me?

I'm still in a bit of a crafting slump and not working on big projects that I want desperately to be working on (an alpaca shrug I'm designing, a wool rug, a cotton bath mat, another ghan). I can't commit to anything right now except small little clutches and bags. My friend Sara and I have made 8 small Paton's SWS bags that are suitable for make up or what have you, and I need to get them felted, photographed and put on etsy for sale. They're damn cute. I have a newfound obsession with SWS.

Speaking of yarn...Has anyone tried the new Debbie Mum Traditions yarn from Joann? I'm curious about it and almost tempted to buy 1 skein and see what the big deal is. It looks like it's similar to a Lion Wool-Ease in terms of fiber content (It's mostly acrylic with about 25% or so wool), but reviews I've read consider it to be a cheap alternative to a Noro-type yarn in terms of how it looks once it's worked into something. It sounds like a PITA to work with and the cons seem to outweigh the pros. I'm curious about the striping though, and how it looks once it's worked into a project. I should check Ravelry.

I came down with the flu 2 1/2 weeks ago and I'm still not quite right. It started on a Tuesday morning where I had a tickle in my throat and I felt run down. Same thing Tues, Wed, Thur. Come Thursday night I had a fever and body aches and the worst cold symptoms imaginable. The fever lasted 8 days. It was pretty awful. I still have cold symptoms but haven't felt sick in about 5 or 6 days. Just feeling really run down and tired. I've now had the flu twice in 6 years. I think it might time to start getting an annual flu shot.

Stomach issues have not resolved themselves but I'm doing a lot better now than I have been since October. It took me until December or so to figure out exactly what I could and couldn't eat, and now so long as I stick to a strict diet I'm doing alright. I've found some fats that are okay (healthier fats) vs. the ones that cause serious discomfort. Now that I'm eating alright and not having excrutiating pain all the time I'm able to better pinpoint where the pain is and what triggers it. Before I just felt bad all the time. Now I can see that I have a chronic sort of indigestion feeling, that is worsened to the point of needing an ER and pain meds if I eat fattening foods. So I'm eating very healthy now, nothing pre-packaged, no red meat, reduced caffeine, tons of fruits and veggies and lean chicken breast. It takes me much longer to cook dinner and it's a bit more expensive, but I'm starting to love always cooking with fresh vegetables and ingredients. I haven't found a single low-fat or fat free food that bothers me either, except for sczechuan sauce and chili powder, which I could tolerate before this whole thing started. So it's 99.9% a fat thing. I see the new GI the first week in March and I'm hoping he has some ideas for me. I hope that he'll repeat the HIDA scan and see if there is a difference/drop in my gallbladder function since October (by the time I see him it will have been 5 months since the first scan). I'm still hoping it's gallbladder and not some weird non-ulcer dyspepsia or chronic gastritis that has no cure. I don't mind my diet when I'm home, but it makes it very hard to have a meal at a restaurant or a family member's house. It also makes it hard to snack, because packaged snacks in general are not healthy. When I have a craving for something like that I'll eat rice cakes or pretzels, but there are those days where I'd give anything for a piece of chocolate, or a muffin or pastry or something delicious and nasty. Oh well. Hopefully someday again. Otherwise my wedding is going to suck if I have to bring my own meal and forgo the cake!

Speaking of the wedding...it's definitely going to be fall of 2009. It will be low-key and very intimate and cozy. The site we're interested in (and will visit in the spring) is a vineyard with a rustic post and beam barn. It's a very simple site and they provide the food, location, alcohol and waitstaff. Pretty much nothing else. For table centerpieces and the like I'm planning to stick to the autumn theme and use carved pumpkins, gords, lots of candles, etc. Instead of numbering each table so guests can find where they're sitting we're thinking of assigning a color to each table, using dark autum colors. So, the guest that are at, say, the orange table may find pumpkins and orange flowers and orange candies and orange vases and an orange table runner on their table. The blue table may have a bowl of fresh blueberries, some dark potted blue african violets, a bunch of blue pillar candles on an antique tray, etc. I think it will be lovely. I stole the idea partly from Martha Stewart. I plan to start hitting flea markets, yard sales and thrift stores to find unique, old glass flower vases and other items to serve as decorations. I want it to be very unique and stylish, and hopefully that will work out. If there are, say, 10 tables that utilize 10 autum colors or shades, I hope to tie in each of those colors into my bouquet, and then each of those colors into the cupcakes. I think it will work out wonderfully. I love the idea of lots of candle light and tons and tons of bright, vibrant fall colors eclectically utilized in the space. The wedding itself will be very intimate, no bridal party or anything like that, and somewhat non-traditional because it works best for us. Why not make the reception site extremely non-traditional and eclectic and bohemian? I can't wait to start buying fabrics for table runners and hunting for the perfect table accessories to serve as decorations. I live for this kind of thing.

Hope you're all having a great day. Pictures of FOs this weekend perhaps.

Crafting Slump

2008-01-08T16:09:00.000-05:00

Not sure what it is, if it's a post-holiday thing, a winter blues thing, or what. But for whatever reason I'm beyond lazy these days. I recently pulled out a large amount of yarn for 3 projects, two of which I've just barely started, but lately I haven't had any desire to crochet. I try to force myself but that's just not fun.

It's unfortunate because I'm actually quite excited about the projects I've chosen. The first one is just a striped wool rug. I plan on felting it. I took all of my dark, autumn-inspired colors of wool (perhaps 7 colors?) and am making a rug to put in the kitchen by the sink. I have a rug that I currently use in that spot and I made the wool rug about 10 inches longer than that one, and will make it about 10 inches wider, so that after being felted the size is similar. I didn't measure, I'd guess it's maybe 3x5? It's a good sized rug. JC Penney's catalog carries rug backings so I'll buy one to fit so it doesn't slide. It's a great stash busting project, and one that will look great in the house.

The second project I have in mind is another ghan though, truth be told, the rug project is large enough for me right now and I'd rather make smaller items. I would really like a striped throw for the couch though, so that's also on my 2008 to-do list.

Finally I'm making a cotton bath mat for the bathroom. The pattern I'm using for this is the circle motif rug from the new Crochet Me book. I'm awful, I am not certain who the designer is off the top of my head and, well, here I am not looking it up as I type this. Anyhow, you can see a picture of it on the CrochetMe CAL Blog. I'm using Sugar n' Cream doubled in white, a pale yellow and light blue (the colors of my shower curtain). The shower curtain is striped and I thought the juxtaposition of the circles would look fantastic. Here's to hoping. I've made a whopping 2 circles thus far.

But mostly I can't bring myself to crochet anything. Not even something small and quick. At most these days I spend my spare time napping, going to bed early, staring at the TV (are you sensing a pattern here), or wedding planning. Actually, the wedding planning is fun. I know our budget and when the weather is more agreeable we'll take a look at the vineyard we're interested in. Aside from the dress, the meal, the roof and the alcohol this will be a 100% handmade wedding. So literally for the next year I imagine I'll slowly be collecting craft tid-bits to make favors and invitations and centerpieces and the like. Some of the things I wish to do (like make my own cake) will require some practice, so I'll have some very happy family members who get to sample oodles of dessert over the next 12-18 months until the wedding. Poor, poor people that they are!

Here's what I'm planning for the cake. This version shows 200+ cupcakes. My guest list will be about 95-100 so I think 3 tiers would be more realistic. I will need lovely silk flowers and silk leaves. I'll finally get to buy that Wilton cake decorating set and how-to DVD I've always wanted and practice making flowers. I'll stick with simple cupcake frosting designs: daisies, sunflowers, bunches of grapes, big round pumpkins, simple roses. All in dark October colors. I'm pretty good at cake decorating to begin with and will have the help of my dear friend and pastry chef, so I'm not worried one bit. The biggest part will be having enough silk flowers and leaves to give it the same full, elegant look as this picture.

They've used fresh flowers in these pics, but since I'm doing this myself and on a budget, no way. Too much to worry about by using fresh, and with the silk flowers I can have it mostly set up beforehand, and it will be quick the day of. Mostly what I need is to be able to mix dark frosting and make flowers. If I suck at it, there's always the option of using silk flowers or pre-made edible ones. I'm sure with some practice this will be very, very attainable.

Favors are going to be brown kraft bags with handmade black and white tags. The tags will have the individual and their table number. Inside it will be chock full of home baked goodies.

I'll make my own bouquet with a hardy flower (calla lily perhaps, or some other type of lily) tied with a dark ribbon. I may have a small vase on each table with a single flower (if I do calla lilies) or a few lilies. Or, I'll ditch the flowers altogether and do some other form of handmade centerpiece. I'm not certain.

Invitations will be 100% handmade and will take me 2-3 months to complete. I've sketched out a few ideas but haven't yet decided for certain.

Fun stuff for sure though. I'm very excited about these little details. It should be fun.

I'm fighting off a cold and I think it's getting the best of me. I'm going to go have some hot tea with honey.

Christmas Loot

2008-01-01T16:15:00.000-05:00

We decided previously that we would use a portion of our Christmas bonuses to purchase 3 particular furniture pieces that we needed. Unbeknownst to me Mark used the remainder of his bonus for my ring, and I used the remainder of mine to pay for my CT Scan that the insurance deemed worth $500 of my money. So, we ended up getting two of the three pieces we wanted to get. This spring we'll probably get an unfinished dresser or clothing armoir at a mill store and finish it ourselves.

Here is the new desk. A bit small but very nice. Please ignore the cords, I hadn't yet taken care of them.

Here is the matching TV stand.

They're both distressed wood, made to look antiqued. I'm happy with them. The TV stand holds all of our junk pretty well, so I'm happy with it.

Wedding Stuff

2008-01-01T16:05:00.000-05:00

Thank you for all your congratulations. I'm very excited.

It's looking like we'll be married in 2009. At the moment I have a plan to get us out of debt by the end of 2008 and to be honest, that is my priority right now. We have our future to think about afterall. Once the debt is paid off (next fall if everything goes as planned), we'll be able to save a significant amount pretty quickly so that we can proceed with the wedding. Mark would like an October wedding, but I'm not certain I want to wait that long. We'll see. I'm impatient.

We're going to try to do as much of it ourselves as we can. I want a venue that will deal with the meal, booze, location, linens and china. We'll have live music (his father's band) and hopefully my boss will be the JP doing the service. I want to make the cake and desserts myself with the help of one of my best friends, who is a trained pastry chef and chocolatier (is that a word?). I want to do all of the decorating and fine details ourselves, including invitations, programs (if we have them), favors, etc. So though I'm impatient the extra time may not be terrible. We'll be paying for the wedding ourselves, and my goal is to have a fabulous wedding for well under $5,000. It should be fun. I have my eye on a local vineyard at the moment, and we'll probably call in the coming weeks to go take a peek and discuss the pricing. It's all very exciting.

Happy New Year

2008-01-01T16:01:00.001-05:00

Snowstorm #2 in two days. We got about 6 inches December 30th-31st. The sun came out around lunch time on the 31st. About noon time today (January 1st) it started snowing again, and it hasn't let up yet. I had to run to the pharmacy and it looks like it's another 5 inches so far. It's insane.

Hope everyone is having a happy new year.

Speechless

2007-12-25T08:41:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T09:16:00.001-05:00

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas if you celebrate it, and a great day if you don't.

Here's the last 2 months of my life, in summary:

Done

2007-12-23T20:02:00.000-05:00

Finished my parents blanket.

Pattern: Afghan Squared by Lion Brand
Modifications:
K hook
Red Heart Super Saver
Pattern Repeat of 7 rounds each of the two pinks, and then one green and one white round.

I personally don't care for the colors or the pattern but my parents will love it (I hope).

Also made mom four dishcloths. The kitchen and living room are both decorated entirely in pink, white and green.

I've crocheted non-stop since the wedding (since about September) and now that I have no more gifts to make, I have no idea what to do with myself. I'm tired!

Okay okay...

2007-12-20T08:29:00.000-05:00

The CT scan was fine, really. I guess I get really psyched up for things and worry myself sick about them, only to come to find that they're no big deal afterall. I wasn't worried about the scan itself, but that damn barium I had to drink.

But I managed to drank those first 2 bottles in 7 minutes flat. I felt like I should have had a beer bong and been listening to Dave Matthews Band with all my frat-guy friends. I chugged the hell out of it! Seriously, my college friends would have been so proud of me. It was only bothersome at the very end of the second bottle when it wanted to come back up a bit, probably due to the sheer volume of what I had just put into my stomach. But all in all the taste wasn't miserable, and more than anything it was just a lot of liquid to ingest so quickly. Texture was a little unnerving, but really, no big deal at all.

So I got there and chugged some more and had the dye injection. The scan was fine. They didn't tell me anything. I should find out Friday or Monday. I wasn't a fan of the dye, it had a bit of a reaction on me where I just felt flushed and woozy for about 10 minutes. By the time I had gotten dressed it was gone though, and ultimately no big deal. Honestly the only unpleasant part of the whole thing was the fact that it took her like 5 needle sticks to find a vein, and once again my arms look like I'm an IV drug user. I'm very bruised. I don't mind needles, but lately no one is able to find a vein and I end up all bruised and sore from their repeated attempts. I assume it's because all of these tests have meant at least a 12 hour fast prior, and I end up being dehydrated with veins that want to keep collapsing. Ordinarily they never have problems with me.

I also cancelled the colonoscopy. Though I kind of chickened out and said I'd reschedule which is a lie. I plan to have a second opinion. If the second opinion thinks it's warranted or if the CT Scan shows anything, I'll do it immediately. Otherwise, I'm going to have to wait until February or March when I can afford to shell out more dough for the insurance deductible. I just don't have it right now, considering the CT Scan cost me $480. And who knows, maybe when I see a new GI they'll agree with the first doctor (who I liked) and they'll think the colonoscopy will not be necessary. If it is, I'll do it, but otherwise I have better things to spend $500 on.

Anyhow, I went to work after the CT scan thinking I'd be fine, but the barium ended up having a bad effect on me, so I left after about 90 minutes. I felt full and and uncomfortable, which I expected since I drank so much thick liquid. Unfortunately, it upset my stomach quite a bit, and I just needed to go home and take some Pepto and relax. The barium did not stay in me, put it that way. After some over the counter meds I was fine, just felt a bit full and not all that hungry. Imagine having a stomach full of a liquid heavy metal. That's pretty much how it felt. Like a big ball in my stomach. Not painful or crampy, just oddly stuffed beyond capacity.

So we're in the midst of another storm today. This is, I believe, the 5th or 6th storm we've had that has dumped over 6 inches of snow since the beginning of December. It's non-stop. We got 6 overnight and are due for 6 more during the day. It's insane. It's so pretty outside (until you're cleaning off your car and driving in it). My boss is great, lets me stay home when the roads are crap, which they are today. However, I've missed so much work for appointments and tests and procedures that I have been coming in regardless during storms, even though I know he'd be fine to let me have a snow day. The 4 wheel drive is great and my confidence driving in bad weather is increasing. I used to drive a Hyundai and that didn't go anywhere in the snow. It was awful. I couldn't make it up hills because the car was far too light, and it would just slide all over the road. The Jeep is fantastic though so I have no problems getting to and from places. But, since I'm still not a huge fan of driving around in the bad weather, I always make a point to only be here during daylight. I usually work 10 to 8 today, but I'm doing 7 to 2:30 or so. It will take a solid hour to drive home with all the traffic and bad road conditions. Took me 45 minutes to get here which is fantastic all things considered. I can't even describe how nice it is to have 4 wheel drive in a snow storm. I'm not one of those cocky SUV or truck drivers that thinks you can do 50 in a storm just because you have 4 wheel drive. It does help you to go and not slip on the nasty roads, but it won't help you to stop. I don't understand why it's so terrible to drive 30 miles per hour on a windy, curvy, hilly road that has 3 inches of snow on it, but it must be terrible because all the other SUVs pass me. I just take it slow with all the 2 wheel drive cars out there, and I do just fine.

On the crochet front I'm still not done with the granny square blanket. It looks great though. And I'm close to being completed. I did find a mistake in it that I had made, about 20 rows back, and I almost died. I don't think anyone will ever notice, but it's irking the shit out of me. I want to frog it, but if I do it won't be done in time for Christmas. Instead of 3 dc in a chain one space I somehow only did 1 in this one spot, and I can't believe it. I must have been distracted. It's really making me crazy, but I don't have the time to fix it. Argh. I hate that. I'm going to try to get creative with some yarn and a needle in that spot and see if I can give the illusion of 2 extra stitches there, because I just can't handle it. It's so unnoticeable though that once I knew it was there it took me about 5 minutes to find it again, so it's not obvious to anyone but me. But fellow knitters and crocheters will understand how irritating it is.

I have 5 more rows of the light pink, one row each of white and green, and then a sc border around it in the dark pink. After that, just weave in the ends. I manage 2 rows a day after work, so I'm getting there. Now that it's so huge, it takes forever to crochet around all 4 sides. I'm using a K hook which is pretty large (but what the pattern called for), but it's just not going all that quickly. Oh well, it will be done with by Sunday no matter what. I can't wait to show pictures. I'm rather proud of it. Not my style and I don't really like the colors, but Mom will love it and that's all that matters.

I've been using a lot of Red Heart Super Saver for the blankets. I washed the one for my niece and it was very soft afterward, and I was suprised at how nice it felt. However, I used RH Soft for Mark's parents blanket, and it was much more pleasant feeling. I think once I'm done with all of these I will not buy RH SS anymore. The RH Soft is much nicer and makes a great ghan. I have a bunch leftover from years ago that I'm going to make into a scrap ghan, and then after that I think I'll wash my hands of it. I'll still use acrylic or an acrylic blend yarn for any blankets, because seriously, it's just not right to have a blanket you can't throw in the washer and dryer. In my opinion at any rate. But I plan to use a softer acrylic in the future.

T-Minus 90 Minutes

2007-12-19T07:00:00.001-05:00

Well, 90 minutes to go before I have to chug 2 bottles of Barium for a CT Scan. Between 8:30 and 9 I have to chug 2 bottles of Barium (hooray!) and then drive 30 minutes to the imaging center. Once there I chug another bottle (wow, it's my lucky day!) and then I'll have the scan. I'm hoping and praying something shows up. I'm so tired of negative test results. I know my body, and I know something is amiss. I'm starting to feel discouraged that I have some sort of "non-ulcer dyspepsia," which is a generic diagnosis of upper abdominal pain with no real treatment other than avoiding the foods and situations that bother you. It's not that I want to be sick, but I'd like to have a concrete diagnosis and concrete treatment plan.

I have to say though, once I started to really be diligent about my diet, I've found that low fat foods really make a world of difference. I do have an indigestion-y sort of feeling sometimes, but it seems to be related to eating. I haven't had any sharp pains since I've cut out fatty foods. In fact, I notice that when I cheat, like last night when I had a bite of a candy bar because of a chocolate craving, I have some upper abdominal pains. When I don't eat fats, I don't have those pains. So, I'm still inclined to believe the first doctor that my gallbladder is starting to show signs of gallbladder disease absent any stones. But, if there are no stones or sludge, the only test that will show that is a HIDA scan, which I have already had and which was inconclusive. If that's what this is, then nope, the CT Scan won't show anything most likely. Bah.

Oh, I'm cancelling the colonoscopy I think. Er, not cancelling but rather postponing it. I have a $500 insurance deductible for tests and procedures and such, which I will be paying today for the CT Scan. I simply cannot afford to pay an additional $500 in January when the new year and new deductible starts again. So, after the CT Scan I'm going to have to call the doctor's office and explain to them that until I get my tax return, I likely won't be able to afford it. I've ben told 2 things that lead me to believe this is okay: First doctor said since my symptoms are up very high in my stomach, a colonscopy wasn't necessary because I don't have any lower stomach symptoms. And then the 2nd doctor said he didn't think the test would reveal any problems either. So, I feel okay about waiting for 2 months or so. He may be annoyed, but oh well. What can you do? I don't have that kind of money laying around. As it is, my Christmas Bonus will be paying for today's festivities.

Have a great day everyone.

Resisting the urge...

2007-12-12T08:29:00.000-05:00

...to feel paranoid.

I'm really trying hard to keep a level head today, and not start having these conspiracy theories about the asshole doctor I saw yesterday. I'm trying to just calm down, but I've got to tell you, it's difficult.

I know the colonoscopy will be a piece of cake. I know it will be, because I'll be asleep just like I was for the endoscopy. What will suck is the prep the day before. I don't need to go into details--y'all know it's gonna suck. You just have to suck it up and deal, and that's the best you can do.

But...

I can't help but feel a bit paranoid about having it to begin with. I was seeing a great woman in this very doctor's office, and she told me that they would be doing upper GI tests, because I have no indication of any lower abdominal issues. This was reiterated to me in the ER. And even yesterday, when the asshole doctor told me he thought what I needed were some antidepressants and some good self-reflection, immediately followed by his ever so professional statement that he was certain no more tests were needed because they wouldn't show any problems...he orders a colonoscopy. I have to keep telling myself that getting this test is a good idea anyway--better safe than sorry--blah, blah, blah. But that paranoid part of me wonders if he's just trying to punish me. This belief is somewhat compounded by the prep he's given me. I'm very research oriented. So naturally I looked up colonoscopy online. I didn't really learn anything new, basically that the prep sucks but the test is no biggie because you're under anesthesia. What I found interesting though was that I can't find anything (from bloggers and personal experience type sites) on the prep I have to do. Most preps involve drinking quite a bit of liquid. It's just unpleasant. But I have to drink 64 ounces of Gatorade mixed with 225 mg of some medicine I can't recall the name of (Glycolax? Something like that) THREE times. Once at 10 am the day before, then at 6 pm, then I have to get up at 3 am and do it again. Doesn't that seem a bit much? All the stories I've read involve a lot less liquid than that. And to put it into perspective for you, that's nine 20-ounce soda bottles. I know I'm being paranoid, but I kind of feel like he's punishing me. There are so many easier preps out there, that it seems suspicious I'd have this one. Especially since my father used this same GI to have his colonoscopy when he turned 60, and he didn't have nearly that amount of crap to drink. I'm a little 105 pound girl. I don't get why I need extra cleaning out.

So, I need to stop this nonsense. Suck it up and just say yep, I have a doctor I don't like, and move on. I'll get the tests while looking for someone else. I didn't need an antidepressant before I saw him, but if I keep dwelling I might. Well, not an antidepressant actually. More like an anti-rage pill.

I was never dying to get a surgical referral and gallbladder surgery if there was a chance that my gallbladder wasn't to blame for the discomfort I'm having. I don't want to have an unnecessary procedure by any means, and I don't have my heart set on having a particular issue. But the doctor led me to believe that my problem was probably gallbladder, and if the HIDA scan were repeated in a few months I'd fail for sure. Of course I was naturally pleased that a doctor thought she found the cause of my problem, and found a solution. Of course that would make anyone happy! But to be told one week that I'm going to need surgery, and then be told the following week that it's in my head? I feel pretty let down. By both of them. Because now, I'm not so sure I believe the first doctor. Was she too hasty? She was certainly sweet and caring, but I can't help but second guess her. And the second doctor--well, let's just not go there. I know my head and I know my body. When I'm stressed, overwhelmed, etc. I catch every cold within a 10 mile radius. I sleep all the time. I get worn out. I don't get stomach issues. I know my body, and I know this is not mental. I don't know how I know--I just do.

The doctor thinks this is all in my head...

2007-12-11T17:44:00.000-05:00

I'm furious.

I went in today and despite the fact that his partner, who is now on maternity leave, believes my gallbladder is failing because I have fairly consistent gallbladder issues, the doctor told me:

"April, I think what you need are antidepressants."

Doesn't matter that the pain comes on after I eat fat and fat only. Doesn't matter that I can tolerate non-fatty foods pretty well. Doesn't matter that my life is going well and I have no anxiety or depression. He told me I need to "seriously evaluate my life, and surely you'll agree with me that the problem is mental."

His own associate told me last week that I would likely get a surgical referral today despite my HIDA results being borderline normal.

Instead, I was told it's in my head. I'm livid. So incredibly livid.

Yet, even though it's just in my head, he's going to do a CT scan this week and a colonoscopy on January 2nd. Sounds to me like a cover-your-ass tactic, given that this is, afterall, just in my head.

I don't even know what to say. It will take me probably 6 to 8 weeks to get a new GI appt. by the time I get the insurance referral and appointment set up. I'm going to go through with the 2 tests while starting the process of finding someone else. At the very least I'll have a complete medical work-up by the time I see a new doctor.

So, my PCP thought gallbladder and sent me to the GI. The GI I first saw (who is now on maternity leave) ordered the usual u/s, endoscopy, HIDA and bloodwork. Everything was normal, HIDA was borderline. She still believed gallbladder. The ER doctor who saw me, who also had her gallbladder removed, believed it was my gallbladder even though I don't have stones. She said it sounded just like what she had. Every person I know who has had gallbladder troubles tells me, "Hmmmm...it sounds like gallbladder to me."

Yet the jackhole GI who took over my case thinks I need to take an antidepressant.

I don't have any history of stomach issues and everyone, and I mean everyone, has said that I have no indication of IBS or any other lower abdominal issue. I have no symptoms of anything down there. Yet here we go with a colonoscopy, even though it's all in my head. I could scream right now. I am so, so angry.

I understand the CT scan, but the colonoscopy? I have pain in one spot. Right behind my lower right rib cage. Ain't gonna see that part of my abdomen during a colonoscopy.

Ho Ho Ho

2007-12-08T00:37:00.001-05:00

I did a little wrapping tonight. I've never used plain paper before, usually it's all cutesie.

I made simple handmade tags for the packages.

I'm going to wrap each package with a thick black ribbon. I think they'll look elegant.

Christmas Gifts

2007-12-08T00:25:00.000-05:00

Marley's not good at math, so she wasn't much help when it came to balancing my check book.

Anyhow, here's a wool scarf for Mark's younger brother.

Here's Sara's project bag, finally felted and with the little moon and star embellishments. If you read yesterday's post, she's the friend who is in love with stars.

These are for her husband. He loves little bags. The red-orange one is for a tobacco pipe he whittled this fall. The gray drawstring pouch has a fish on it since we always go fishing together. The teeny black one is for his antique glass eye. No joke. The hat is black, same yarn as the small pouch, but I didn't realize how terrible the exposure was until I uploaded it. He doesn't leave the house without a beanie.

Lastly, another Moda Dea scarf for Mark's aunt. She wears a lot of pink.

Jacob's Blanket

2007-12-08T00:22:00.000-05:00

He's 7. He's all boy. I think he'll like it.

Oh, and...

2007-12-07T13:12:00.000-05:00

Finished another ghan last night. I'm now down to my very last one and that should be it for Christmas. I still have many FO pics to post, but by the time I get home from work these days I'm pretty exhausted. Between feeling tired all the time (from low calories and fat I assume) and the antispasmodic gut medicine that makes me so loopy and sleepy, I have managed to neglect taking pics of my stuff.

The ghan I finished was for my 7 year old nephew who likes GI Joe. It's camoflauge. Hideously ugly, but hey, I'm not into camo so who cares what I think. He is 150% boy so I suspect he'll get a huge kick out of it. Well, as much as a 7 year old boy can appreciate a hand made blanket instead of toys at Christmas time. I suppose his enthusiasm for it will be relative, since it's not exciting and fun to play with, but again, that's ok by me.

So, as of now that's 4 ghans I've made since April of this year (Sara's, Erik and Teresa's, Mark's parents and Jacob's, which is shown only partially completed in that older picture), with one more in the works for my parents. After Christmas I have 2 more in mind to make. One will be the Babette Blanket from the Spring 2006 edition of Interweave Crochet, which I just backordered yesterday. The other will be for my 2 best friends. Their 5 year wedding anniversary is this March. Both of their birthdays are about 1 week before their anniversary. They're both obsessed with stars (as home decor, on her purse, on jewelry and buttons, and they both even have star tattoos). I think Beth's Little Star Afghan would make a perfect gift for them, don't you? I'm really not sure of the colors. I'd like it to be something funky without being obnoxious. Conversely, I do like the idea of it being a fantastic shade of yellow. I also like the idea of using wool and felting it so it's a nice rug. I can't decide, but that will be the pattern at any rate. Sara is in the midst of making her first ghan for Justin for Christmas and the colors are a taupe and red. I can't quite decide if I should be sure the 2 match each other or not. I don't think they necessarily need to if I make a blanket instead of a rug, because they wouldn't have both blankets in the same room. If I do a smaller version and felt it into a rug, they will definitely put it in the living room so it should match their other decor. Hm. It's a difficult choice for me because I'm really leaning toward making a huge yellow star blanket and I think it would be cute, but man that wouldn't really match anything of theirs. It will come to me eventually I guess.

2 pm on a Friday and I'm very much ready to go home. 2 more hours. The Bentyl makes me so tired and I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open. *yawn*

Sad Beyond Words

2007-12-07T10:37:00.000-05:00

My sweet, sweet baby Lulu passed away on December 1, 2007. I cannot even believe how much my heart aches.

On Thursday 11/29 around 11 pm I noticed she was a bit lethargic. I wrapped her in a warm towel and held her most of the night against my chest. That morning she had been fine, as far as I could tell. She deteriorated so rapidly. Which I suppose is a good thing, given that it happened quickly and seemingly painlessly. I basically held her for another 25 hours on and off or so until she passed away just after midnight on Friday night (technically Sat. morning). The entire time she was unresponsive and did not react to any stiumli, etc. When I pet her she did not move. I believe she was in a coma. The cats stayed by her side the whole time. They wouldn't leave, they were very protective. I've never seen them like that. It was only after she passed away that they stopped hovering around Lulu and started hovering around me. It seemed as though they were at first comforting Lulu and then afterward comforting me. Maybe I'm reading too much into animal behavior, but they were acting so very different than they normally do.

We grappled with the decision to let her die at home vs. going to the vet. What ultimately allowed me to keep her at home without feeling guilt, was two specific things. First off, she was unresponsive in a coma and I do honestly believe she was not suffering. Secondly, Mark worked for the Humane Society for 10 years and he was the technician who did all the euthanasias. Small animals like that are given the injection in one of two ways. Typically it is through the stomach. Lulu had a mass in her stomach that appeared to just show up the day she died. I hadn't felt anything prior to that day on her, and I handled her daily. If they cannot put the injection in the stomach due to a mass, they inject it in the heart. Mark says this is not a comfortable procedure and he believes it is a cruel way to euthanize a small animal given that it is somewhat difficult. So, I let him use his judgment since he has done literally thousand of euthanasias over the years, and together we decided the best thing for her would be to keep her warm and love her until her time was up.

I never wanted a ferret. I won't ever get one again. But she was a birthday gift from an ex when I turned 22, and she became as much a part of the family as my two cats. She was born in December of 2000, which made her about 7 years old. Most ferrets live 3 to 5 years, so she was a very, very old girl.

The cats thought of her as one of them. Until this past year, she was free to roam the house as she pleased, because she was litter box trained, and she wasn't a naughty ferret who would eat things, chew wires, etc. Her only "naughty" quirk was an obsession with large, empty boxes. She'd grab a box 20 times her size with her teeth and drag it across a room in an attempt to find a place to hide it. It was the most hilarious thing to watch. She would always drag them and put them under the bed, or the kitchen table, or try to get them into a closet if the door was left open. To this day I'm not sure why she did it, but it was so cute and amusing to watch.

About a year ago her sight and hearing started to go. I kept her confined to the second bedroom that we use as an office/computer room/craft room/spare bedroom. She could only come out of her cage when someone was with her. She was still happy and seemed healthy and vibrant, and she learned to adapt to her failing eyesight by walking the perimeter of things--she'd find her way around the room by following the perimeter of the room, or the bed, or what have you. She was happy and excited despite her eyesight.

Anyway, I'm sad. I didn't post prior to today because everytime I thought about it I start to cry. I'm still very teary now as I write this. I'm not a fan of ferrets, but I can't tell you how much this little weasel meant to me. She was a pure love. If you picked her up, she would smother you with kisses. She was just unique and special, and I miss her so much.

Pay it Forward Gift

2007-12-04T13:19:00.000-05:00

AntiChristy made me quite a lovely Pay it Forward gift. It's a Scarflet and I adore it. It's using Paton's new bamboo blend yarn. It's one of the softest yarns I've ever felt. Thanks, hon!

She does also have an Etsy store, and she has some cute stuff in there.

Shawl

2007-12-04T13:13:00.001-05:00

Apparently I'm missing a handful of photos. I have a lovely felted tote bag and some more scarves ready to show off, but can't find the pics on Flickr. Must be on the camera still. So much has been going on lately and I'm a bit scatter-brained.

Here's a shawl for my niece. No pattern as usual.

HIDA Scan Results

2007-12-04T12:35:00.000-05:00

Got the results back from the HIDA (gallbladder) scan. You're not going to believe this. The results are fricken normal.

Unbelievable.

So, the GI at least believes this is my gallbladder. I apparently have pretty classic gallbladder symptoms. Problem is, she said a surgeon likely wouldn't touch me with good test results. They're number oriented and if I pass the test they'll likely be dismissive of my case. How lovely.

Plan for now, continue with antispasmodics (I'm now trying Librax (Librex?) instead of Bentyl, though I think the Bentyl works better) to prevent digestive contractions and spams. I am supposed to take 2 pills 30 minutes prior to eating (3 x per day). If I take 2, I'm drooling. They knock me out, so I have to take 1, which the dr. does not like, she wants me on two. Sigh. Also, continue on 40 mg Protonix twice daily, even though I don't see why, it has made zero difference (same with Nexium). And most importantly, and I emphasize, eat no fat. Zero fat at all. I have another appointment on the 11th to see how things are going.

I'm able to tolerate maybe a gram of fat in a meal. Provided I take my antispasmodic first and give it adequate time to kick in. Otherwise, forget it. It hurts too much. I had a bite of Mark's quesadilla last night out of desperation. One bite, one tiny little bite, and it was very uncomfortable 25 minutes later.

Her thinking is that if we rule out everything, treat me with medicines, and she stil suspects gallbladder, she will be able to convince a surgeon that the liklihood is that it's my gb and let's just take the damn thing out.

I do want her to order a CT scan or something, because lately I'm also having upper left quadrant pain in addition to the normal upper middle pain and upper right pain. I have no other signs of pancreatitis though and all of my bloodwork has been fine. This could very well be referred pain, but my thinking is that one more stupid test to see how things look over there won't be a big deal.

My fear is that it isn't gallbladder, that they'll do surgery, and they won't find anything wrong. But my pain is pretty classic gb, and when I avoid all fats I feel a lot better. But still, the fear of having surgery and still having problems looms over me. So on one hand I'm glad she is not jumping to conclusions. She says he gut tells her its gb, but let's try meds and let's rule out everything else first. If it is my gb, I don't have stones, I probably am in the beginning stages of gb disease, and if they repeated the tests 6 months from now I would fail them miserably. If anyone wants to do surgery if I am still passing the tests I'll get a second opinion. But truth be told, I want a rapid resolution to this because it really sucks ass. I'm losing weight like crazy. Granted I feel better on a fat free diet than I felt before, but still. It's not healthy to have zero fats in your diet for any extended period of time. I still have bad days, and I still leave work early sometimes, and overall I just feel somewhat sickly. And I'm frustrated. I'm tired of fat free foods. Really, really tired of them. I want some meat. Like a nice juicy steak. Holy hell. That would be the best thing in the world.